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Buck Felize

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Buck Felize

Buckfast Athanasius Gruppenfuhrer Felize PVR* (1966-) Cynical misanthropic pessimist who likes to be pleasantly surprised once in a while. Noteworthy Arrsepedian, alcoholic and self-abuser.

Derided by some and loathed by many for his outspoken views and general irreverence, Felize has nevertheless carved out a niche in what's left of a largely failed career. Once accused of being a serial Narcissist, this individual is characterised by the self-loathing that invariably accompanies brilliance.

Variously described as being a rake, wastrel, gadabout and rogue, Felize - who suffers from terminal outrage - once appeared as a nude centrespread in Antique Jellymould Collector Magazine, where his flashing smile (and little else) endeared him to legions of ageing spinsters. Felize was awarded the Spirit of the WI trophy in 1990 by the Women's Institute - an accolade of which he is immensely proud.

His finest hour was persuading a very drunken Su Pollard to engage in a bout of naked Twister. Unfortunately, this was in the pre-digital age and therefore does not appear on YouTube. Attempts to reconstruct this event with a Pollard look-a-like have failed miserably.

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Currently in hiding due to the Peterborough branch of Hezbollah sussing his IP address after disparaging remarks were made about believers of the Islamic faith. Constant petition signing, outstanding Council tax bills and parking fines has also earmarked this individual for special attention from the Security Service, various local councils and debt recovery agencies. Buckfast Felize is a former Crab and ex-TA Scaley.

Update

The morning of the 7th of December will be forever remembered as a Day of Infamy, for it was on this bright, if somewhat misty morning - a little after 08:30, that something occurred that went largely unnoticed by the wider world. Buck Felize posted his 4000th edit on the ARRSEpedia. The birds continued to sing and life carried on, but the distant tolling of a church bell signalled that he was now irreparably mentally damaged and his marriage was reduced to twisted, smoking wreckage - a half-sunken carcass in an oily, polluted pool. A once proud, operable and fully functioning relationship reduced to a smouldering heap. He is now totally enslaved to ARRSE... forever and has no friends - except the imaginary ones... probably!

Location - Pikey-ridden Euro cesspit
Date Joined - 2 July 2006
Star Sign - Leprechaun (Uranus rising)
Number of Posts - Way too many
Eyes - Two
Hair - Just
Sex - Sometimes
Sperm Count - 100 sp/ml.
Inside Leg - 30"
Blood Pressure - Daily Mail reader
0014.gif This user is a SysOp and ARRSEpedia guru. 0014.gif
s4a_thumbs_up.jpg This user is a Top Contributor.
bloodhound.jpg This user is a
Walt Finder
crab.jpg This User is a Crab
49para.jpg This user is a member of
49 Para
jimmy.jpg This user is a
Scaley Back
4K This user is a Master ARRSEpedian
with over 4000 edits
on the ARRSEpedia.