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The Swiss Guard

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If you've ever visited the Vatican City - maybe to pop in for a chat with His Holiness the Pope, you are more than likely to have encountered these guys. Decked out in a Michelangelo-designed get-up that looks like a cross between a conquistador and a deck chair, these boyos certainly turn heads. Don't be fooled. They're totally nails!


The swiss military gave shoeings to EVERYONE during the late medieval/Renaissance period when armed with a 17 foot pointy stick and grouped together like a large group of hedgehogs who have turned savage. Sold their services to everyone and considered very reliable for the period ... but if they saw some of their fellow swiss across the battlefield, they would wander over, shake hands, exchange chocolate and cuckoo clocks and then feck off leaving their employers in the lurch.

The Pope's Swiss guard had pretty much degenerated into a ceremonial unit (where the most sought after skill was bladder control) until recent assassination attempts. They have since been picking up the training in Hand to Hand Combat and firearms. Recently demanded better conditions and their officers be less of a bunch of cnuts. Threatened strike action ... Feck! Can you imagine the SAS taking strike action. No-one would cross that picket line!

Read on: Swiss Guard]

Not to be confused with Swiss Tony.