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The Rules of ARRSE

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1. There are no rules about moderation: enjoy your ban.
2. ARRSE does not forgive or forget.
3. What goes on in Chat stays in Chat. Unless it's really funny and/or fcuking moronic.
4. If you enjoy any rival sites - DON'T!
6. Everything that can be labelled can be hated, usually by the mob.
7. The more you hate it, the stronger it becomes. Internet hate is the strongest force known in nature.
8. You are not your post count:all are equal. Unless you have very few, in which case your opinion has no value.
9. Military service can be illusory.
10. A bloodbath is always preferable to talking things through.
11. Regardless of what you may read or believe, the Prime Minister does not give a flying fcuk what you write here.
12. Poetry is never appropriate.
13. Posting while drunk is never a good idea anywhere on the Internet: on ARRSE it can be fatal.
14. Trolling can be funny but must be perpetrated by an expert. Statistically, you are not that person.
15. We killed LNV: if you find this appalling you must leave due to violation of Rule 16.
16. You must possess a sense of humour.
17. Extremism of all kinds is tolerated until the tide of opinion turns against you: you are then to be instantly ostracized.
18. Threads about Walts to bump up your post count are banned, unless it's about Mike Golden, someone who may sue us, or you satisfy Rule 8.
19. Some wars have lasted since the Dawn of ARRSE: if you don't know what is going on, stay off the thread.
20. Lord Flasheart can fight his own battles: he doesn't need your help.
21. A female with no apparent military connection will never be fully accepted as a member of this site. If you are pretty, please try.
22. Use of the 'Search' function marks you as a n00b: why conceal your ignorance when you can look completely stupid in open forum?
23. In the Real World, autistics take medication. On ARRSE, they post.
24. The NAAFI Bar is there to allow you to post any mindless crap you like.
25. The Hole is there to capture really valuable threads: please use it. See Rule 24.
26. If you find something even remotely amusing on the Internet, you must start a fresh thread. Preferably in the NAAFI.
27. Arrse is not an audition for The Comedy Store or Jongleurs. If you're not funny in real life, you'll not be funny on here.
28. Mongs are funny. MDN will not be banned because you are outraged at his mong comments and theres a good Mlaaaring chance you are a mong if you are.
29. Use of smileys does not make your post funny, no matter how many you add. Use of 'Wink' smileys to imply some secret hidden knowledge is particularly irritating.
30. If there is a story in the news about a terrible crime, post it and tell us what horrors you'd do to them. It will help us understand just how sane and level-headed you are. The more terrible the retribution the better.
31. Regardless of your moral values, opinions or point of view, you must jump on the nearest bandwagon. Especially if the old sweats start it or join in. It'll make you get in 'the gang' quicker.
32. Post your picture in the gallery without reading the rest of the site. When you've been force fed your own arrse, you can complain to the COs and they will remove it for you.
33. Your thread will drift. Accept it.