The Baron of Castleshort
|THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS FACTS ABOUT WALTS AND MUST BE HANDLED ACCORDINGLY!|
James Gerard Richard Shortt, born Purley, Surrey, in the southern suburbs of London, on 17 September 1953 passes himself off as an expert in bodyguarding, counter-terrorism and security by implying that he has served in, and been trained by, various units within the British Armed Forces. He has often been photographed wearing the insignia of the British Royal Marines, the Parachute Regiment and the Special Air Service Regiment whilst, in reality, he has never served as an operational member of any part of the British Army. He was enlisted as a recruit in the Territorial Army for less than six months, after falsely claiming to be an officer in the ACF, but did not undertake or pass basic training. He has not passed the British Army's Basic Parachute Course and is not entitled to wear any British Army parachute wings badge. He was discharged from the Territorial Army Services No Longer Required.
He has not served on any operation as a member of the British Army or any other recognised regular national military force. He has not taken part in any military counter-terrorist operations. It is highly unlikely that he has taken part in any other counter-terrorist operations. He has not received any counter-terrorist training within the British Army. He is not, in fact, a trained soldier at all.
James Shortt has never served as a member of any police force or other law enforcement agency in the United Kingdom or Irish Republic; and has not completed training as a police officer at any recognised police academy. He is not a member of the International Association of Chiefs of Police.
He qualified as a nurse in the UK during the mid-to-late 1970s but his registration has lapsed. He has not passed any recognised paramedic training in the United Kingdom and is not entitled to call himself a 'registered paramedic' in the UK.
He appears to be reasonably proficient at martial arts (though this is debatable), but his 'higher' qualifications are self-awarded.
He does not possess any recognised title of nobility in the United Kingdom or the Republic of Ireland. He has not been awarded any genuine Papal honours. He is not a member of any order of chivalry recognised within the state from which it is claimed it was conferred.
The medals that he wears on his fantasy uniforms - other than the bogus orders of chivalry - are an odd mixture of pre-Second World War European veterans' awards - which he can't possibly have qualified for, and modern commemorative medals which are widely sold on the Internet. All of the uniforms he wears are 'self-awarded'.
Shortt, despite threats dating back over two years, has not issued any proceedings for defamation against Arrse or any other website or publication that has questioned his lies. He has simply made empty threats that he will do so. In fact, he has not been able to find a specialist defamation lawyer who would take on his case because he cannot afford to fund such a case and would certainly lose.
A Notice for Members of the IBA
Nobody doubts that members of the IBA across the board are entirely sincere in their desire to provide competent professional bodyguarding services. Nevertheless, they should understand that Jim Shortt has no operational experience as a soldier or law enforcement officer and that most of the qualifications and experience he claims to have are actually largely bogus. This must raise questions about whether Shortt is capable of providing the up-to-date, relevant bodyguard training that a professional bodyguard actually needs.
The reality is that whilst Shortt is associated with it, the IBA is a damaged brand. No matter what Shortt claims, he is not much more than an enthusiastic martial arts practitioner with delusions of grandeur. To find out what kind of man Jim Shortt actually is, read on.
You really could not make this up. Even the most imaginative Hollywood writer would be hard-pressed to dream up a character like James Shortt: nurse, monk, soldier of fortune, author and colonel of his own private army - amongst (many) other things.
In years to come, when the dust has long died down, people will speak in hushed tones in darkened corners in awe of such jaw-dropping effrontery. These are truly the final days of a golden era of walting at World Class level. Never again will individuals be able to embark on a glittering non-career without intense scrutiny from within and without. The Visigoths are at the gates of Rome - and they're 'avin' hoops for tea.
Here then is the story of the good Baron and the 'usual mob that anonymously deal in malicious fictions after glorious military careers'. 'Tis a yarn that will forever be told to wide-eyed children, drunkards and anyone else unfortunate to be within listening distance. Let us begin.
It was in the month of September 1953 that wise men in the East espied a bright star in the sky. They followed it to Purley in Surrey, where, in a small, semi-detached council house, they found a babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger - idly polishing some nunchukas. They gave thanks to God and worshipped the infant, leaving him gifts of a stick-on Pancho Villa moustache, a sandy beret and an armful of Legion of Frontiersmen medals.
Now fast forward fifty-five years and that self-same rugrat is now Colonel, The Chevalier James Shortt, Baron of Castleshort. Impressive eh? Well let's take a look at...
The Baron of Castleshort's CV:
NATIONALITY: Joint British & Irish
PASSPORT: British & Irish
OCCUPATION: Director of Training & International Co-ordinator INTERNATIONAL BODYGUARD ASSOCIATION (founded 1957 In Paris)
- Reedham Park Preparatory - private school
- John Fisher School - Catholic public school
- St Joseph's Seminary (1970-72) - priest training
- St Francis Friary (1972-1973) - monk
- St Bonaventure's Monastery (1973-1974) - monk
- Croydon School of Nursing
- Mayday University Hospital (1974-1978)
- RGN (State Registered Nurse) [It's actually Registered General Nurse]
- REMT (Registered Emergency Medical Technician)
- FCCI (Fellow of the Faculty of Commerce & Industry)
However, it would appear that you can purchase this 'Fellowship' from here: Business Qualifications Worldwide
- KtT (Knight of the Sovereign Military Order)
- KtSJ (Knight of the Order of St John)
- Cross of King Albert
- Cross of King Leopold
- European Combatants Cross (and countless other decorations & medals: for the Shortt-list please visit Shortt Skirts and Shiny Things)
Last Senior Rank: Colonel
- Parachute & Ranger-qualified Cadet, 1st Cdt Bn Queen's Regt (1969-1970)
- Instructor (at above)
- Badged Parachute Regiment (1976)
- Special Air Service Regt (SAS) (1980)
- Royal Marine Commando Forces - Consultant (1976-1982)
- Household Division Centralised Courses (1982-1987)
- Home Office (SRDB) Senior RSL (1988-current)
- USAFE Security Police - (EST) SWAT Instructor (1980-1981)
- Paracommando Regt - (Belgian MoD) (1982)
- Belgian Police Anti-Gang Unit (1983)
- Combat Training Team - Director Of Training (1976-current)
- Counter Terror Group (LETA) Chief Instructor (1977-current)
- Swedish MoD Anti-Spetznaz Group's Instructor (1990)
- National Police Firearms Courses Lecturer (UK) (1987)
- NIFA Mujihadeen Instructor/Officer (Op Mistral 87/88) Khost (Afghanistan)
- Special Operations Group - Cameroon (1989)
- Jungle Interdiction Group Leader/Instructor - Papua New Guinea (1990)
- Legion of Frontiersmen Ceremonial Guard (1987-current)
- Ryazan Higher Airborne Forces School USSR (1989), visitor (i.e. Spetznaz - cynics might say he was their anti-Swedish Group instructor.)
- Senior Counter Terrorist Advisor - Estonian Government (current)
- Senior Advisor - Latvian Government Security Services (current)
- Senior Protection Officer (1978 - current) Royal, Presidential, Diplomatic
Still not enough? Thirsting for details? Visit: Shortt List
What's Going On Here Then?
Let's deconstruct this CV a bit.
The Early Years
Firstly: 'Parachute & Ranger qualified Cadet 1st Cdt Bn Queens Regt'. The Army Cadet Force is a civilian youth organisation sponsored by the Army, and cadets aren't soldiers. Adding cadet service to one's military CV is a bit like David Beckham mentioning that he once turned out for Snodgrass Primary School under 9's. Cadets can wear a badge indicating that they have done a recognised sport parachuting course, but it doesn't make them 'parachute qualified'. As for the 'Ranger' claim, someone who knows more about the ACF than I do may be able to comment, but the only 'rangers' the British Army has are members of the Royal Irish Regiment where it is the traditional title of a private soldier.
EDIT: Nowadays the 'Ranger' qualification is the unofficial nickname of the Senior Cadets Cadre. This is a course all Senior Cadets have to complete, usually at County/Battalion level, in order to gain their 3 Star Army Proficiency Certificate badge. The fact that this gentleman has used it to embellish his Military CV is quite hilarious!
The Truth Emerges
Shortt's claims about his military career are deliberately designed to be confusing. On the CV which was, until recently, widely available from IBA affiliated websites on the internet, he makes the claim that he was: 'Instructor (at above) (1976 - Badged Parachute Regiment - Special Air Service Regt (SAS) - 1980)'. This was designed to make it look as if he had progressed from training cadets, then joined the Paras and then the SAS. In reality, Shortt appears to have been an Adult Instructor (AI) with 144 Detachment ACF between 1976 and 1980.
This detachment was based at Mitcham Road Barracks, Croydon, along with 2 Company of 10 PARA and did, indeed, wear the Parachute Regiment cap badge but on a standard dark blue beret, with the maroon beret being reserved for individuals who had actually served with airborne forces. It is worth remembering, at this point, that ACF AI's are not members of the army in any way unless they have been commissioned (in which case they have a TA Group B commission with no liability for call-up or to attend RMAS) and do not need to have attended any form of military training: they are trained only as youth leaders in subjects appropriate to the ACF.
It is worth noting that Shortt does not appear to have ever served as a member of the Parachute Regiment in any capacity other than as a cadet instructor who was permitted to wear their cap-badge. Even so, at some point he managed to join the Parachute Regiment Association, originally as an 'associate' member, and subsequently persuaded them to upgrade him to full member status under which he is still listed, although he hasn't paid his subscriptions for some years.
So that explains his 'badged Parachute Regiment' claim, but what about the SAS?
The Power of ARRSE
ARSSE is a big community and has tentacles reaching all over the military establishment. Thus it was that one member was able to find a record for one J G Shortt, 24550634, who was actually on the strength of 21 SAS from 12th April 1980 until 1st October 1980 before being discharged SNLR. Armed with this critical nugget of information, further research was carried out, leading the diligent investigators to a former 21 SAS member who remembered Shortt well.
Shortt became involved with 21 SAS because he had been commissioned by Osprey Publishing to write a book about the SAS in their 'Men at Arms' series. These are books aimed primarily at modellers, wargamers and so on, which give an outline history of their subject, usually illustrated with photographs and colour plates, accompanied by detailed descriptions of uniforms and equipment. Osprey introduced Shortt to Major Dare Newell, Secretary of the SAS Association, and he appears to have arranged for Shortt to spend a day with B Sqn, 21 SAS, whilst they were training on Barossa Common, Camberley, in September 1979.
After this first contact, Shortt apparently expressed the view that he would like to join the TA SAS and he was invited to enlist at B Sqn, in Dulwich. Shortt is particularly remembered because on his first drill night he failed to get involved in the end-of-training game of 'Murder Ball' (a form of 'no rules' rugby, usually played in a gym) and hung around nervously on the fringes; and on his first weekend he turned up wearing immaculate new combats and NI Gloves which he had evidently bought himself, rather than wearing the tatty stuff usually given out to selection candidates at the time. It was also notable that after his first weekend, Shortt had to be warned by the DS for bragging or 'big timing' abut being in the SAS.
Shortt only lasted a couple of weekends on selection before failing, probably due to poor fitness and map reading. He then tried to get himself taken on as a medic, based on his nursing qualifications, but after being told that he would need to do an RMA course to make his nursing qualification valid in the army (together with, presumably, some basic military training) he stopped attending 21 SAS, probably around July/August 1980.
Commenting on recent coverage of Shortt in The Sun, a very senior former SAS officer who remembers Shortt from his brief sojourn at 21 mentioned that Shortt had lied about being a commissioned ACF officer in order to try to blag his way in but that he'd been there for such a short time that he had 'disappeared' before the lie was uncovered.
So there you have it: James Gerard Richard Shortt's entire career in the British Army amounted to - at the most - 171 days, or a little less than six months. It doesn't matter that this service was with 21 SAS; if he'd joined the TA Catering Corps he wouldn't have got through his basic training on this time-scale. In other words, he never became a trained soldier, let alone an SAS trooper.
Of course, we need to remember that this service was with the TA and not the regular army so it isn't like Shortt actually spent 171 days in British Army uniform. If we do a rough calculation based on Shortt's best case that he attended every available weekend and drill night, and assume that these continued without interruption according to a standard pattern of a drill night every week and a weekend every fortnight, it is possible that he could have attended 12 weekends and 24 drill nights whilst on the strength of 21. If the drill nights were each 3 hours, it seems likely that Shortt could not have possibly spent more than a grand total of 27 days 'on duty' in British Army uniform. Of course, the reality is that he did considerably less than this.
Despite this, Shortt has built his subsequent career on the claim - which is often implied but sometimes explicit - that he was at one time a trained SAS operator. It's hard to imagine that the governments of the newly re-emerged Baltic republics would be pleased to learn that they'd shelled out their valuable foreign currency reserves for the services of a man whose military career was limited to failing TA recruit training. They might even think that he'd defrauded them and, as they've now joined NATO and the EU, extradition shouldn't be a big problem. His current addresses are listed below.
A Para Without Wings?
|In Para Reg finery|
Following sterling investigative work by ARRSEr Sandy Boots at the Parachute Course Administration Unit (PCAU) at RAF Brize Norton, it has been established that James Gerard Richard Shortt has not attended any UK para course.
Shortt in fact 'gained' the Israeli wings by booking a 'pay-as-you-drop' jump holiday (arranged by an American organization called the International Association of Airborne Veterans) and made one jump from a C130 on 17th May 1988. He was wearing British wings, a para beret and stable belt during that trip and he hasn't kicked that habit till today...
The Airborne forces of many countries award each others' members parachute wings, normally based on them having undertaken a few military jumps under the respective country's control, but this is usually predicated on them having undertaken their own national military para course first. If Shortt did not complete this course in the UK than all subsequent wings are likely to have been 'gained' under false pretences.
The photo above on the right was taken after the jump and the official IDF ceremony on Palmachim beach, near Tel Nof - the IDF jump school.
The Inevitable Books
What is beyond doubt is that in 1981, Shortt published Osprey Men at Arms 116: The Special Air Service. Whilst the SAS was nowhere near as secretive then as it is now, nevertheless it is highly unlikely that they would allow a 'proper' serving member to publish a book about the regiment.
Perusal of the text suggests that the author didn't have much more knowledge of the SAS than the avowedly non-SAS authors who had written about the unit by then, like Phillip Warner and Tony Geraghty. He evidently did have access to some photographs from the SAS archives, but, at that time, 21 SAS (V) maintained a regimental museum which was open to the public by appointment and the SAS association is certainly prepared to assist authors dealing with 'ancient' history.
It is at this time that Shortt may have acquired associate membership of the SAS Regimental Association. He certainly received a membership card. This would, in all likelihood, have been issued purely to assist with his inquiries and to facilitate access in the appropriate areas. It was never handed back and the (no doubt much vaunted) document has since been used to back up his claims.
Shortt followed his first work up with Uniforms Illustrated 10: The Paras in 1985, where he stated (in the introduction) that he was an ex-para and member of the regimental association. This was in turn followed up a year later with Uniforms Illustrated 13: British Special Forces, 1945 to the Present (though no such claims here). The latter two books contain images that may possibly be of Shortt. He also published Special Forces Insignia in 1988 - all these works aimed primarily at collectors and modellers.
In 1987, Shortt - like a moth to a flame - appeared as a 'Military Advisor' in the Marshall Cavendish publication Combat & Survival.
This was a five-volume partwork in one hundred weekly parts and James Shortt - Combat Training Team also authored several weapons-related articles in said publication... until Part 18, when he disappeared from print both as a contributing author and 'advisor'. The other military advisor for the series was a certain Colonel Mike Dewar - a well-respected authority. Had Colonel Mike bubbled Jim's scam?
Anyhow, not restricting his literary career to all things Special Forces, Shortt penned the mighty tome 'Self-Defence: The Essential Handbook' in 1984. This latter work appears to be highly collectible and sells for stupid money. 'Where there's muck there's brass', as my ol' granddad used to say.
In 1979, Beginning jiu jitsu. Publisher: London, Paul H. Crompton Ltd ISBN 0901764426
His latest (probably): Publisher: Kodansha (2002/08), ISBN-13: 978-4062113540, Release Date: 2002/08
The LoFty Heights of Walting
Then, mixed in with the allegedly real military activity is: 'Legion of Frontiersmen Ceremonial Guard (1987-current)'. Big mistake Jimbo! Most readers of ARRSE will be aware of the bogus nature of the LoF. It is a vehicle for Walter Mitty types, some of whom are genuine ex-servicemen, to further their military fantasies and award each other fake military ranks and meaningless commemorative medals. It's an interesting thought but it is certainly possible that Shortt's membership of the Legion of Frontiersmen is what spurred him on to create his own ludicrous private army and his own Ruritanian uniform to go with it. A (well founded) rumour has made it to ARRSE, via Victorian Major that Jimbo's walting is now so extreme and hideously public that even the LoF have realised that the man is an outrageous prat and are gathering to cashier him. Can the Mess Webley be far away one wonders?
Counter Terrorism Expert & Close Combat Instructor?
Then we have a raft of claims that Shortt was an instructor or consultant with a range of military and police units across the UK, Europe, Africa, Asia, North America and the Pacific. It's hard to know what the truth of this is but several claims do stick out: the first of these is 'Royal Marine Commando Forces: (consultant 1976-1982)'.
The reality of this seems to be that Shortt rented the gym at RM Deal for unarmed combat training at weekends, and that some members of the Royal Marines paid to take these courses, during which Shortt was assisted by a Royal Marines PTI named Bernie Finan (who would have been working in his spare time, like the PTIs who work for the eminently non-Walty 'British Military Fitness' team). RM Deal was, at that time, home to the Royal Marines bands rather than any of the commando units.
Another claim, that of 'Household Division Centralised Courses (1982-1987)' seems to be similar: Shortt used facilities at the then Guards Depot at Pirbright - not a million miles away from his native Purley - for his unarmed combat courses. Both of these claims are related to Shortt's company 'The Combat Training Team' which was the commercial vehicle for courses in unarmed combat and bayonet fighting. I would speculate that Shortt used this name because it kinda, sorta sounds 'official' which, of course, it wasn't.
In fact, it appears that in the early 1980s, Shortt's Combat Training Team did manage to get on the radar of UKLF's G2 security branch which issued a warning to units to the effect that the CTT were attempting to gain access to regular army and TA premises and offering unarmed combat training. The advice to USOs was that access should be denied and Shortt was 'carded' as an Int Nuisance.
Having said all that, there is no doubt that Shorrt ran unarmed combat courses which were attended by members of the Armed Forces, and it seems quite possible that some units hired him to run classes for specialist cadres, but this no more makes him a consultant to the Army or Royal Marines than some aerobics instructor brought in to run classes for the wives' club would be.
Shortt's various claims to be a terrorism advisor to various governments are more problematic. There does seem to be an element of truth in them but one does have to wonder whether he would have acquired any of these counter-terrorist gigs if these governments knew the truth about him; that is, that he doesn't have any 'regular' military experience at all - and that such 'military' service that he can claim was as a cadet, a cadet instructor and possibly a member of the Territorial Army back in the era when it did not take part in operations.
Being an exponent of martial arts no more qualifies you as a counter-terrorism professional than owning a packet of Elastoplast makes you a doctor. Incidentally, when Shortt claims to be 'the first Western military officer to have visited the Ryazan Higher Airborne School' in the former USSR, he's lying insofar as he has never held commissioned rank in anything other than comedy organisations like the Legion of Frontiersmen and the Royal Galloglas Guard.
The International Bodyguard Association
Since 1990, Baron Shorttarrse has been 'Director General' of an organisation calling itself the International Bodyguard Association. Even though this association is claimed to have been founded in 1957, no mention of it can be found before 1989 . The IBA appears to be a kind of franchise scheme in which individuals can take courses in a range of skills relating to bodyguarding (like .50 sniping, IEDing Volvos, wearing black a lot, etc.) and then teach those same skills to a wider public - provided that a chunk of their course fees are paid directly to Shortt (for bank account details, see below). Anyone who teaches the same thing outside the orbit of the IBA is apparently immediately excommunicated in a manner which no doubt brings a tear to the eye of the ex-monk running the show.
Opinions seem to differ about whether IBA training is any good or not. Amongst the plethora of IBA training videos on YouTube, which feature the noble baron complete with gravelly 'Sarf Lahndun' accent, is one in which he has an impressive ND with a 9mm pistol. Personally, I'd have edited that bit.
Screaming Lord Butch
|The Baron Castleshort|
With the question of Shortt's failure to complete (and perhaps even attempt) British Army recruit training resolved, it's time to turn to the various titles of chivalry and nobility he claims. Once again, all is not as 'The Baron of Castleshort' claims.
The Barony of Castleshort seems to have been given or sold to Shortt by one Terence McCarthy, who posed for a period as the 'McCarthy Mor and Prince of Desmond' before being outed as a Belfast con-man. McCarthy had managed to convince the Irish Chief Herald that he was the clan chief of the McCarthys and took the opportunity to coin it, by selling titles to gullible Irish-Americans, before he was exposed as a fake. 'Baronies' in Ireland were introduced by the Norman-English and are not a traditional Irish title.
Once a Knight is quite enough
The various knighthoods and orders that Shortt routinely wears whilst dolled up in his Irish-Ruritanian uniform are also bogus.
There is no evidence that Shortt has been awarded any of the recognised Papal orders of chivalry although he has been photographed wearing the uniform and insignia of a Knight of St Gregory at the Russian Summer Ball; this he claims he was awarded by Pope John Paul II for his work in 'helping to bring the Cold War to an end'. [Didn't we all?]
Oddly enough, it seems possible that Shortt may have been scammed by other conmen who have been selling bogus Papal awards certificates to gullible, socially insecure Catholics. Alternatively, with Shortt's record, it's quite possible that he simply awarded it to himself. Neither is he a Knight of the Order of St John in the UK: the insignia of the Kt St J that he wears appears to be Yugoslavian, and available from all good bogus awards dealers which explains much and little in the same breath.
His claim to have been awarded the Hungarian Knightly Order of Vitez provides a further link, as the Knightly Order proudly screams that it is recognised by no less a body than the International Commission on Orders of Chivalry. Sadly, that body is itself somewhat discredited, as it appeared to have established itself largely to recognise the spurious Orders its members were claiming. And guess who was heading the ICOC at one point? Yes, the discredited Terence McCarthy!
Arrser 'Dread' has done a little background research into the 'Vitezi Rend' and his findings are that there have been no legitimate new awards since 1945, when Miklos Horthy, the Fascist-Nationalist Regent of Hungary, was deposed; although as an hereditary title, it could in theory have been inherited since then. Membership of this knightly order was awarded to Hungarian nationals who had distinguished themselves in war in the service of Hungary and the title 'Vitez' could be inherited by eldest sons of military age, so it's hard to see where a plastic Paddy with a dodgy 'tache fits in. Claiming membership of this order is much the same as falsely claiming to have a DSO or an OBE, and is an undeniable insult to Hungarians who have legitimately earned it.
In fact, what Shortt appears to have done is Over-Walting, supported at the time by a International Commission of Walts which strove hard to legitimise long-defunct Walty Orders of Nobility. [It should be noted that the ICOC today is a much-improved product.] 
Call Out the Guard!
The Royal Galloglas Guard - of which Shortt is the 'hereditary Colonel Commandant' - was established by Shortt sometime during the 1990s, at the height of the MacCarthy Mor fantasy (most probably c.1995), though Shortt falsely claims that it has existed for centuries.
Initially known as the 'Royal Eoghanacht Galloglas Guard', this comic-opera outfit protrayed itself as the personal guard of the false MacCarthy Mor (the Prince of Desmond etc.), and Shortt issued a public 'warning' in 1999 to those who sought to question the validity of the pint-sized 'prince's' genealogical claims - see here.
Unfortunately, certain people in Ireland were inclined to regard this sort of guff as a threat, in light of the fact that the Office of the Chief Herald of Ireland/Genealogical Office is an office of the Irish State, but also because 'G2' is the designation for the Irish Defence Forces' Army Intelligence branch.
The 'uniform' of the Royal Galloglas Guard (the 'Eoghanacht' part was dropped when the MacCarthy Mor fraud was exposed) is a poorly-executed cross between the dress uniform of members of the Irish Guards and Royal Irish Regiment pipe bands, and the Irish Defence Forces Army Pipe Band, all with an element of color-blind Irish-American Darby O'Gillism thrown in. Interestingly, said 'uniform' has its own rank structure and parachute qualification badges - see here.
Please be advised that the drinking of tea or other beverages may well result in undue damage to keyboards during the viewing of the above-cited link. If you have the ability to turn down the color on your monitor, that is well considered.
The Teddington Connection
The Barony of Castleshort isn't Jimbo's only title of nobility, nosiree! He's also a Count (check sp?) of the Holy Roman Empire. This is real, genuine and official, with Jim's writ of summons to the Court of the Holy Roman Empire being issued direct from the desk of the Hochmeister of the Teutonic Order at his Royal Palace at PO Box 276, Teddington, Middlesex TW11 0UL. Interestingly, sharing the Palace of Teddington are:
- The Private Office of His Imperial and Royal Highness Prince Karl Friedrich von Deutschland, Hochmeister of The Teutonic Order, Royal Mail Post Office Box 276, Teddington, Middlesex, United Kingdom, TW11 0UL
- The Imperial College of Princes and Counts of The Holy Roman Empire, The Grand Reichs-Chancellor's Office, Royal Mail Post Office Box 276, Teddington, Middlesex, TW11 0UL
- The Imperial and Royal Society of The Almanach de Chivalry, Royal Mail Post Office Box 276, Teddington, Middlesex, TW11 0UL
But it would be foolish to think that it's just the Holy Roman Empire where Jim is one of the big cheeses. He's hugger mugger with the Polish royal court as well - and we mustn't forget his close mucker The Prince Grand Master, HSH Prince, The Count Juliusz Nowina-Sokolnicki GCCStS, OWE, VM, GCPR, GCIJ, GCMS, GCVV, GCTJ, NN etc. who's the daddy for doling out the Order of St. Stanislas:
A Midsummer Knight's Dream
|The Grey Man|
As a top European aristocrat, it was a natural that the Count (check sp?) of Castleshort would get the gig to protect all of his fellow A-list Euro-nobility at the Russian Summer Ball. After all, they wouldn't want their demure, attractive lady friends being subjected to intimate body searches by any old hobbledehoy, now would they?
Naturally, in keeping with his philosophy of bodyguarding, Jim plays the 'grey man' at these events by disguising himself as the pipe-major of the Auchtermuchty Sea Scouts and, occasionally, as a Knight of St Gregory.
Knight without End
Perhaps more like Knight without beginning. A non-ARRSEr, with genuine connections to the various Papal Knights, reported that he had no success in finding any reference to Shortt's Papal Knighthood in the usual publications. Strangely, another search by ARRSEr gallowglass (no pun intended) in Ireland had the same lack of success. An editorial oversight by the Holy See no doubt.
Nurse, the screens please!
Nurse or Nonentity?
James Gerard Richard Shortt trained as a nurse between 1974 and 1978 and claimed he was registered on 10 April 1978 with registration number 0536886 - hmmmmm. The number 76B5310E has also been quoted from another of Jim's CVs: this is more in keeping with the period, and is in the correct alpha-numeric format, and appears to be valid. To date, that appears to be the one true discovery by ARRSE. It was like extracting hens teeth. However, he no longer appears on the NMC's register of nurses as his registration has subsequently lapsed.
As for his claim of being a 'Registered Emergency Medical Technician', in the UK this generally means that one has undergone a five-day advanced first aid course and, the last time I checked, was not a nationally recognised or accredited qualification (although EMT status in the US is a serious paramedical qualification). Shortt did his 'EMT' training with a company called 'Paramedic UK' which might have led him to the next claim...
In his 'Course Notes' for the bodyguarding course, published on the 'IBA Germany' website, , Shortt does actually claim to be a 'registered paramedic' which is really quite naughty, unless you are actually one. In the UK, it takes around 3 years to qualify as a paramedic and the term is now 'protected', meaning that you can be fined for claiming to be one if you aren't. Ooops. Of course, Dr Kilshorttarrse may be a properly qualified paramedic, but it is hard to see where he might have fitted in the 3 years training in his amazingly busy 'international man of mystery' schedule.
Update 17 Nov 09. From one of many Shortt/long CVs ... I also completed Paramedical training for the voluntary medical organization “Paramedico” leading their Special Rescue unit and completed training and exams: Lay Ambulance aid, Health & Safety at Work (First Aid) Instructor and Examiner, Emergency Medical Technician, and then Registered Emergency Medical Technician.
Paramedico’s National Training Co-coordinator remembers Shortt very well. "Shortt’s association with Paramedico was very brief. Shortt received no training whatsoever from Paramedico, or sat any exams. Shortt is not a first aid examiner/instructor. Shortt is definitely not, nor ever has been, a paramedic. The special rescue unit Shortt talks about only existed on paper, it was only an idea. Shortt is remembered as being a danger to the general public and he is more likely to kill a casualty than to help them. "
Combat Medical Expert
One of the many Shortt CV's boasts that: "I was a guest lecturer at Birmingham University for the British Post Graduate Medical Federation on the subject of Primary Care and Ballistic Injury Management. This was at the request of WO1 P**** B**** (22 Regt SAS, MED TRG) 1998"
ARRSE has been contacted by retired WO1 P**** B**** who points out that: "I would have thought that the then Director of Medical Services would have given this type of assignment to the resident Professor of Military Surgery who, at that time, was specialising in these aspects and had just written a book on said items!"
Additionally, WO1 B**** notes that he actually retired from 22 SAS in 1987, having served his time!
Mile High Medic?
|Jim the Aeromedic|
Nobody can argue that Jim is lazy (or unimaginative). Despite his hectic schedule of protecting the rich and famous - and instructing the ignorant and gullible - he has even found time to dress as an aeromedic: a flying nurse. Shortt claims to have started doing this - along with agency nursing - in the late 70s and early 80s whilst he was establishing his various para-military business ventures. Even so, it isn't at all clear when he was last active in CASEVAC flights, though hopefully not recently as he no longer features on the Register of General Nurses.
Nevertheless, Jim’s certainly got the nursie outfit - suitably embellished - though quite what parachute badges have to do with aeromed is anyone’s guess (it means he can empty a bed-pan while freefalling from 25,000 feet - Ed.). It would be interesting to know when anyone at Europ Assistance (the company he claims to have worked for) last heard of him.
One area in which there is no doubt of Shorttarrse Sensei's expertise is in the martial arts - or is there?
|When membership expires|
By his own account he has been practicing various forms of martial arts since he was a child and is, according to some independent witnesses, quite good at it too. But having said that, the pugilistic papist still manages to attract controversy.
Shortt's claim to be a practitioner of a specific form of Ju Jutsu - Ryoi Shintô Ryû - allegedly handed down from teacher to student in a continuous chain down the centuries, is widely derided by martial arts enthusiasts, however good he may be at it. Historians of the martial arts seem to agree that this style of Ju Jutsu died out in the early 20th century and that the style practised by Shortt-San is simply something he made up himself.
Having said that, at least one Arrser who attended Shortt-san's Ju Jutsu dojo in Purley in the 1980s remembers him as an excellent and highly thought of instructor who was also very good with the kids who attended (in a nice way). This view is echoed by a very highly regarded martial arts instructor and close protection specialist who regarded Shortt as a 'pretty decent Ju Jutsu instructor'. Clearly times change and so do people, and it remains unclear what dragged 'Seamus', as he called himself at the time, over to the Dark Side of walting.
4th Dan Judo
His claimed Judo qualifications are suspect too. Neither the British Judo Association nor the British Judo Council have any record of Jim Shortt at all, let alone the 4th Dan grade that he claims. Further enquiries are proceeding with the Amateur Judo Association and the Irish Judo Association to see if they have any record of him.
Ott or Not?
Lord Jim learned the bodyguarding trade from his mentor, French Army 'Major' (which is a Warrant Officer in the French Army, unless this is a translation of the French rank 'Commandant') Lucien Victor Ott who allegedly served in one of the post-WW2 French SAS units, fought at Dien Bien Phu, was captured by the Viet Minh, escaped and was subsequently appointed Charles de Gaulle's bodyguard. Or maybe not.
Charles de Gaulle's bodyguard was actually Pierre Comiti. Oddly for such a distinguished soldier, references to Ott on the internet point straight back to Shortt himself, to websites set up by various branches of the IBA; and in a few cases to commentaries on the politics of the extreme-right in Belgium in the 1970s and 1980s; not conclusive at all, but certainly suggestive that Ott might also have inflated his CV somewhat.
For such a highly decorated hero of the French Army, his lying in state curiously consists of three boxheads and, yes you've guessed it: Jimbo - in all his Legion (of Frontiersmen that is) finery.
In a bizarre twist one ARRSEr reports being present at Ott's 'second funeral' in September 1994 somewhere in Kent. 'Apparently the lease on his other plot had run out, and Shortty had him brought over.' Oh dear.
The Baron Goes to the Law
Shortt, sharp, shock!
In September 2008, the mighty Baron decided that enough was enough and that having a bunch of rough British squaddies sniggering at him on Arrse was simply too much for a refined aristocrat of delicate sensibility. However, rather than consulting m'learned friends, he ran up a few nasty letters and emails in his best bogus baronial legalese and sent them out to the owners of Arrse and various other websites on which negative material about him had appeared. Was this a good idea? You decide: The Baron Goes Legal
Shorttarrse's legal threats galvanised the Arrse community (and this is not a group of people you want to galvanise if you can avoid it). Apart from the fact that amongst the denizens of Arrse dwell a number who have served in such illustrious units as 21, 22 and 23 SAS, 10 Para and even the Surrey ACF. There are also real Irishmen, real Irish aristocrats, real martial arts afficionados, real close protection specialists, real counter-terrorism experts, real lawyers, real journalists, real medics (including the aero type) and, indeed, people who do really know Shortt and something about what he's been up to for the last 35 years. Whoops!
Consequently, as if gripped by the furies, the membership of Arrse have been trawling for information and much has been turned up which might be of interest to the dedicated Shorttwatcher, albeit that some of it is strangely contradictory.
Home(s) Sweet Home(s)
|Jim with Household staff|
It's difficult to pin Jim down to one location, as you'd expect with an international man of mystery, but it's quite surprising just how many different addresses he maintains.
In fact there are so many addresses, and variations on the same, that An Post (the Post Office in the Republic of Ireland) must have a dedicated set of staff. A few items collated from the threads, E&OE:
- Castle Cosy, Brewery Street, Castlebellingham, Co Louth ... is this the real Home Of Baron James? 
- 112 Whitethorn Park, Palmerstown, DUBLIN 22 - the Grand Headquarters of the IBA - at least between 1994 and 1999 when the IBA Ltd. was dissolved!
- 49 Avondale Road,South Croydon,Surrey,CR26JE,United Kingdom 
- Borrmount Manor, Borrmount Bree, Enniscorthy, Co. Wexford - The Royal Eoghanacht Galloglas Guard
- Office of the Director General, International Bodyguard Association HQ, Cahore Castle, Cahore, County Wexford
- James Shortt, Castleshort Lodge, Ballywater, Kilmuckridge, Co. Wexford, Ireland.
- James Shortt, Ballywater, Kilmuckridge, Co. Wexford
- The Baron James Shortt, Castleshort, Borrmount Manor, Borrmount, Enniscorthy. [Borrmount Manor is a golf course]
- Address for service is c/o JAMES SHORTT, Castleshort Lodge, Ballywater, Kilmuckridge, Co Wexford, Ireland.
- Castle Bellingham (Hotel).
- Application No. Area Registration Date Decision Date Decision 20045101 Enniscorthy 30/09/2005 23/11/2005 GRANTED subject to CONDITIONS. Applicant: SIMON MURPHY & MARTIN MURPHY (So Jim doesn't own it?) Address: Borrmount Manor, Borrmount, Bree, Enniscorthy, Co Wexford
- The Baron of Castleshort, c/o The Lansdowne Club, 9 FitzMaurice Place, Berkeley Square, London W1X 6JD [As of 2000]. A check of the membership list has revealed that he is not a member. The James Shortt page of the IBA site http://www.ibabodyguards.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=32&Itemid=47 states that he is a member of the Naval and Military Club. A check of the In and Out membership list reveals that he is not a member of this club either.
- International Bodyguard Association Ltd (Registered No. 05916989) 23-24 High Street, Wootton Bassett (how convenient...), Swindon, Wiltshire SN4 7AA
- National Security Training Academy Limited (Last AR 04/08/2008) - Ballyscannel, Ballinfull, Co. Sligo
- 486 Brighton Road, South Croydon, Surrey Dojo in 1982?
- Colonel The Chevalier James Shortt, Baron of Castleshort, Borrmount Manor, Borrmount, Enniscorthy, Co Wexford, IRELAND
- And, if you go into Google Maps UK and type in his Norn Iron Postcode (BT41 1AA) you get an industrial estate on the Pennybridge Road in Antrim. He uses a PO Box number. I know that estate - it is full of lock-up units!
- And the latest discovery [15 Jan 09] is IBAUK( London office), 69a Kings Road, Chelsea, SW3 4NX, Phone +44(0)2078233597, Mobile +44(0)7748390108, Fax +44(0)20279001911, Email: email@example.com ... Although it seems to be populated by Beauticians and a Theatrical Agent. There may be a clue there!
All in all, there's a faint smell that suggests Jimmy uses some of these addresses to "big it up" and uses them as a poste restante whereby he can keep his real home address secret. Well, that's a wise move, Jim - a VERY wise move. Especially as an ARRSEr of your acquaintance remembers visiting your attic apartment in the mid-90s, when it was in Croydon and wasn't a castle!
Along with his multiplicity of addresses, the Baron likes to maintain a wide portfolio of bank accounts into which monies owed to the International Bodyguard Association are paid. The following 'appear' to be linked to Jim. In these days of financial uncertainty, it pays to spread the risks across several different financial institutions, though it doesn't exactly inspire confidence when parting with the readies, does it? There must be Nigerian scammers going positively wet with excitement whilst reading this? Anyhow, should you get the urge to blow your inheritance then you can pay by Interbank transfer. Just make sure you mark all payments to 'The Baron Castleshort'.
- Account # 61428748, Sort Code: 90-65-66, Bank of Ireland, Abbey Square, Enniscorthy, County Wexford. Republic of Ireland. IBAN ie55-bofi-90656661428748
- Name: The Society of the Irish Brigade, Account # 22299G, Enniscorthy Credit Union, Abbey Square, Enniscorthy, Co. Wexford, Ireland. Tel +353-54-33835, Fax -36613
- Euro € Payments – Credit transfer / Giro transfer to: IBAN (International Bank Account Number): ie55-bofi-90656661428748, (or) Account No: 61428748, Sort Code: 90-65-66, Bank of Ireland, Abbey Square, Enniscorthy, County Wexford, Republic of Ireland. (Mark all payments for the attention of The Baron Castleshort)
- UK £ Sterling Payments - Credit transfer / Giro transfer to: IBAN (International Bank Account Number): gb91-bofi-30152522676933, (or) Account No: 22676933, Sort Code: 301525. BIC No: BOFIGB2B. Bank of Ireland. (2nd Floor). Premier House, Sydenham Road. Croydon CR0 2EZ. (Mark all payments for the attention of James Shortt)
- US $ Payments - Credit transfer / Giro transfer to: Account No: 1010113305076. Routing: 053101626. (Mark for the attention of James Shortt). Wachovia Bank N.A. Cross Creek Financial Centre, 4924 Morganton Road NC3194, Fayetteville. NC 28314. United States of America
- Account # 92503369 Sort Code: 10-80-02 - Woolwich Building Society, Watling Street, Bexleyheath, Kent, DA6 7RR, United Kingdom. (Mark for attention of The Baron Castleshort)
- ALL PAYMENTS: If you are booking courses described in this brochure, all payments and bookings should be made directly to the OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR GENERAL; (not to a National or Regional Director) All payments by transfer, credit or deposit MUST be made to one of the three banks accounts listed here, or sent by draft or cheque directly with this form to the IBAHQ in Ireland. Failure to observe this protocol will result in an additional 20% surcharge payable on the course fee(s) .. Credit Card payments can be made to International Bodyguard Association through PayPal to: ibahq @ indigo.ie Add 5% to course(s) costs to cover PayPal charges.
- And another one just turned up [July 09] ... Account: #6478843763, Route: 125008547, Wells Fargo NW Bank, 2201 156th Avenue N.E., Bellevue 98007, Washington, USA. Does that mean that the Wachovia account in Fayetteville NC has been closed? Or is this more fog?
All funds for all courses, wherever they are held, go direct to Jimbo or his alter ego as IBA HQ? Jimbo's accountant must work long hours unravelling all these accounts when compiling those pesky Tax Returns.
The truth is that living out your fantasy life in public and on the internet is a relatively harmless activity which provides most of us with considerable amusement, so we should thank the Baron of Castleshort for that. The fact that Shortt is evidently so desperate for social recognition that he will associate with various fake European royal claimants, comedy para-military clubs like the LoF and claim residence in Irish castles which turn out to be golf clubs or hotels all forms a part of life's rich tapestry. I won't criticise him for it, although I reserve the right to laugh my arse off at him.
But having said that, it is quite clear from the publicity materials for the International Bodyguard Association, and other companies that Shortt is associated with, that he trades on his essentially false claims of military professionalism and association with the SAS and other elements of the British Armed Forces as a selling point for the training he offers. This is essentially fraudulent.
Shortt has no experience as a professional military officer at all, and his very brief period of service at 21 SAS amounted to little more than a few weekends during which he did not pass even basic recruit training. His only military skill is the ability to put a uniform on and even there he has a tendency to commit gross howlers. It is quite clear that he has been living a sustained lie since the late 1970s although whether he has benefited from it very much is debatable. In our humble and educated opinion, if Shortt continues to behave like a fraud, charlatan, and fantasist, he'll remain a worthy subject of The Curse of Arrse.
Whichever way you look at it, this whole episode is like watching a pile up on the M25 in slow motion. The internet is a great place to inflate one's reputation but this whole episode should be a warning that it's also a very easy way to get shot down in flames. In reality, by drawing attention to himself and his hugely exaggerated claims to military experience and expertise, Shortt has managed to make himself look like a phoney and fraud - however good the training that he offers through the International Bodyguard Association might actually be. All in all, a classic example of walticide.
Modern Media Magnet?
As of 20 Jan 09, after Shortt's initial threat of legal action, he has been mentioned in three editions of the Irish satirical magazine The Phoenix and twice in Private Eye. Then on 29 Jan 09 he got even more (unwanted) coverage in the hollowed pages of The Sun - and another mention the following day. 
By TOM NEWTON DUNN, Defence Editor. Published 29 January 2009
Published 30 January 2009
THE PHOENIX JUNE 5, 2009
Affairs of the Nation
BARON CASTLESHORT'S BODYGUARDS
ARISING from the shooting of Michael Dwyer in Bolivia and his association with certain Hungarian right-wing elements working in security in Ireland, it turns out that the statutory Private Security Authority (PSA) has not conducted detailed background checks on up to one-third of the 22,000 security operatives it has licensed (see The Phoenix, 22/5/09). The PSA has also stated that it "does not currently license those working as bodyguards", leaving a substantial and growing area of the Irish security industry in an effectively unregulated state.
A case in point is the International Bodyguard Association (IBA), whose director-general is Goldhawk's old pal James Shortt, the sometimes-kilted `Baron Castleshort', commander of the Galloglas Guard, former bodyguard to Terence MacCarthy `Mor' and trainer of Pulse Security personnel who keep order on UCD's Belfield campus, often receiving flak over their modus operandi. As things stand, Shortt and the IBA are not - nor do they need to be - registered with the PSA.
In addition to courses in such exotic locations as Slovenia, Croatia, Puerto Rico and Melbourne, Jimbo's IBA offers regular training sessions in Bellingham Castle, Castlebellingham, Co Louth, better known as the venue for RTE's Fkilte Towers. In the past, an array of firearms has been displayed at these courses (see The Phoenix 17/10/08) although the most recent course in Bellingham Castle was a "bodyguard masterclass" running from June 1-5. There will be further sessions next December culminating in the "52nd Lucien Ott Memorial Dinner and Awards" just before Christmas (Ott was a mysterious Frenchman who, Jimbo claims, founded the IBA in 1957 and appointed him as his successor).
In addition to the assorted IBA training courses, the good Baron has now forged a relationship with Right Track Security Services in Galway. Run by Ronan McLoughlin and Catherine Penston, Right Track provides courses in door security, surveillance, bodyguarding, defence and restraint tactics, etc, with FETAC accreditation. In addition, Right Track's `Bodyguard Division' is available to "assist with your every need from vehicles, advance security to protective escort". The company advertises its membership of the IBA and features Jimbo Shortt in its online gallery, but while McLoughlin and Penston hold individual security licenses, the firm as such does not appear to be licensed by the PSA.
Another connection of Jimbo's which is not listed as licensed by the PSA is something called the National Security Training Academy (NSTA) in Sligo, which was established in 2006 by Tony Davis. On the company's website, Davis boasts thatafter carrying out extensive research into "specialised training that was not being covered by anyone else professionally in Ireland", he then brought in the Baron and from those deliberations the International Bodyguard Association in Ireland requested that the NSTA would represent them in Ireland". Davis now holds the title of IBA National Director.
As if all this activity was not enough, Shortt has now decided to expand his operations into a hitherto neglected area - female bodyguards. A new Women's Bureau of the IBA has been launched, headed by blonde bodyguard Lisa Baldwin and operating from the same address in Fairview as Shortt's solicitors, Early & Baldwin. The next bodyguard master class for security skirts is due to be held in Granada in Spain in late July or early August, with Baron Castleshort himself due to attend.
He was also covered/uncovered in the following:
- SOLDIER 5 April 1982
- SOLDIER 21 February 1983
- SOLDIER 13 March 1984, still as a SRN and not a para/sas/superhero
- The Times, 15 May 1996
- The Times, 14 June 1998
- The Times, 14 July 1998 
- Las Vegas Review-Journal, 24 June 1997
The Baron Writes Back
Kindred spirits from the Irish Military Online (IMO) forum (The Irish version of ARRSE) reported that Shortt had gone to press in his local paper.
Allegations of a Hate Campaign!
By Barbara O'Flatherty
The Dundalk Leader has this week been contacted by a Mr. James Shortt of Castlebellingham, who claims he is the target of a hate campaign. Mr Shortt alleges that both his family and his friends have become the victims of sustained internet campaign He further asserts that both he and the named others have been, subjected to poisonous phone calls at unsocial hours, and that in the UK this has resulted in the involvement of the police and a crime number being assigned to the case.
Mr. Shortt claims that he knows the identity of some of the persons involved in the campaign against him and his family in this county. Mr. Shortt has appealed to all those who may possibly receive the email concerning him, his family or friends to immediately forward it to the Gardai who have already been informed of and are investigating this situation.
The Castle Wall Starts To Crumble?
It was inevitable that the combination of media attention, innumerable enquiries by ARRSErs, and a bit of well-deserved bad luck would start to impinge on the Baron's Cosey Castle and his Empire of Deception.
The almost complete dismantling of his various inflated claims is one aspect. The suspension of Mr Ware might be dismissed as 'collateral damage'. But a few more 'direct' misfortunes have begun to make their way direct to the Castle door and the Director-General's In-Tray, such as:
- 3 Feb 09 - 'She is going to speak to Camper & Nicholsons legal affairs department this afternoon.' 
- 4 Feb 09 - 'The FBI claims are now with the Legal Branch of the Embassy here.'
There will inevitably be more.
The Finnish Finish?
And there was. In September/October of 2009 - as a result of the negative feedback - Shortt responded to questions raised by various Finns. His first attempt to answer questions was via a YouTube video where, instead of answering the questions, he opted to describe his critics as 'failures'. Following the production of an ARRSE parody of the video both were pulled for 'copyright reasons'.
Shortt also sought to answer questions via the Finnish Potku.net martial arts forum. In a rare [Better make that unheard of.] burst of honesty, Shortt admitted that his time in the SAS was minimal and that he was a basically a 'blanket stacker'. This may have been a disappointment to his supporters because it was at odds with an interview he gave the Finnish martial arts magazine BudoExpress in 1994. The article entitled Jim Shortt - taistelija ja herrasmies (Jim Shortt - fighter (or warrior) and gentleman) contained reference to his 'service' in Northern Ireland and in the Falklands War. This is likely to be nothing more than an 'error in the translation'... probably. [Shurley shome mishtake?]
The Arrsepedia is compiling a consolidated list of the Baron's claims for submission to the Guinness Book of Records in the hope that he will be proclaimed the greatest Walt of all time. List of James Shortt's Dubious Claims.
Recently, The Baron returned to ARRSE in a rather badly fitting disguise. Posing as a Danish Special Forces soldier who now bodyguards for 'Jimbo', he released the details of more that 20 members of ARRSE... Most of which were utter bollocks. He claims that he is launching a campaign against ARRSE and all the people who have mocked him, and that breaching PERSEC is only the start of 'Operation JackARRSE'. Jesus, he's still a cunt, he can't even think of a decent Op name.
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!
On 7th January 2012. James Shortt's house at Castle Cosey, Louth has burnt down. ARRSE discussion
- Youtube I
- Youtube II
- Give me fcuking strength!
- IBA Slovenia
- Business Qualifications Worldwide
- CTT: One Man's Viewpoint
- 1996 - Legitimacy and Orders of Knighthood. See Part II, on The ICOC.
- James Shortt on youtube
James Shortt was not in any way the inspiration for the character of Jack Small in Cyril Clunge's action novels Lost Tango in Paris, Mission From God and the soon to be released The Dying Game... probably.