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The Ballad of Flash and Blondebint

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This article is part of Project Blondebint, the ongoing categorisation
of that troll's unfortunate and unwholesome addiction to ARRSE.

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Due to popular demand, here is a potted history of the 'upstanding and respected' member of arrse formerly known as Candida. Her latest incarnation was as Scabard who attempted to out a Mod - and failed really quite badly.

Pre History

She first came onto the site in the early days (in that respect, she is telling a near truth) known as Blondebint. In those heady and carefree days, Arrse was a small site with a select few military, ex military and closely associated members. In those long lost days, the members were a close knit bunch who liked to chew the fat, swing the lampshade and discuss days gone by, as well as the more serious current affairs and day to day issues concerning the Armed forces and world at large. Everyone pretty much knew everyone else and a new member to the board was greeted with a hearty slap on the back from the sage members with a knowing wink.

Being military types, we felt we needed to exploit certain objectives. These objectives showed themselves as unwashed 'Students against the War' sites, 'Firemen against work' forums and American Hick boards that needed some 'British Army input'. Due to the youthful nature of Arrse, we were all best friends (in the same way that all the retards are in the Big Brother house in week one) and actually got along just fine and dandy. One of the major ties was several of the members were actually good muckers in a previous real world so the site was a good reveille for old chums. We did have our rogue cannons such as Leanne and Trog but due to them serving or having a tenuous link with the military, they were accepted as one of our own (all be it with a virtual clip round the ear every now and again).

Our outings on other objectives were discussed at length via MSN messenger (in the days before a chat module) and the atmosphere was akin to a Boyos op brief in the Three Steps Inn, South Armagh. One of our first successful Ops was on a site called GIJargon, an American version of Arrse (historical link and battle honours can be viewed in the Multinational forum). Blondebint* was one of the members at this time who was present on this fabled Op.

As an aside, a few of the newly formed moderators voiced concern over the member known as Blondebint. One of them had noticed that she had made some quite grandiose claims pertaining to certain Military orientated charities. As one can imagine, if a claim of such importance is made to squaddies, who generally aren't the types who just accept and have a questioning nature. Questions were asked and background information was gathered through various 'sources'(much akin to the nature of a WO and Sgts and Offrs Mess and the usual business that occurs in these establishments). Information gained through these sources gleaned that the claims were, at most, 'fanciful'. A simultaneous background activity was being conducted by another member.

General Information

Ok, as a concurrent narration, I shall add a bit of information that I feel is relevant to the story;

'Blondebint' had as a signature to her public profile, a link to her own personal MSN website, 'Foxys Bar'. This website was self claimed as a Special Forces (TA) help site. Inside the site was, to be quite honest, a 'candy shop to the walt'. Lots of hints and tips on how to pass selection, what to say on the interview and lots of dubious information on the SAS (mainly links from other walt sites). A few members had ventured across to this site and had struck up correspondence with a few from her site. One of the more famous intercourses between members involved a 19 year old from 'Foxys Bar' attempting to sell a Bren Gun to an ex Military member of Arrse.

Alarm bells started ringing on a few counts throughout the site.

At the time these rumblings were being discussed, The Lord Flasheart (who hadn't taken much notice of the mutterings concerning the member known as Blondebint) had kept to his usual 'I'll judge on the merits of my own opinion and findings'.

Now, where were we? Ah that's right, MSN. As has previously been mentioned, a lot of Arrse business was conducted through MSN messenger. Most of the Arrse members had each others MSN details and regular discussions were held. The topics discussed were 'which tree hugging site to attack next, what tactics to employ against GIJargon and the like'. As you can imagine, a great time was had by all and certain friendships were established. (A Note to the reader: These were innocent times and most of us couldn't even spell Troll let alone understand what one was!).

The Lord Flasheart

Lets walk sideways for a bit. Flashy was going through what could be termed as 'a bit of a transition in his marital state'. To put it bluntly, Lady Flasheart had decided that Flashy was being a bit of a tool and had sought solace back with family in Blighty. Such is life and as most will understand, a completely normal part of marriage. So, young Flashy was now on Solo Ops for an indeterminate period and spent rather too much time on the interweb. Flashy, being the polite and genially sociable type, struck up conversation with 'the long standing, original and respected member' known as Blondebint. If I am to be condemned for one mistake, let the record show that to be the one. The MSN sessions were of a neutral nature initially (this callsign does have some understanding of PERSEC;)). The general conversations were relating to 'what's going down on Arrse, chatted about members and the plus and minus points and where will Arrse strike next etc'. As you will agree, very low key and pleasant.

At this point in Arrses History, there must have been no more than 20 female members. Blondebint was, I suppose, considered as a 'base member'. (You will need to interview the likes of PTP, GCO, BCO as to the actual contribution that she made to the few forums we had then. But I believe her contributions consisted mainly of copy/pastes of other peoples opinions).

My purpose on the site was for entertainment, not education so I didn't really concern myself with the grown ups protestations too much.

So, let's recap. Newish site, few members, Blondebint was already making a name for herself by overtly pushing links to her charity involvement and SF links. Some of the members had made a few enquiries and had found that she had some dubious connections and doubtful claims. Flashy was on Solo Ops and liked the 'crack', liked chatting via MSN to Blondebint (and others) but wanted to make his own opinion of this person known as BB.

Due to Flashy having more time on his hands in the evening, he struck up a deeper relationship via MSN with 'Blondebint'. Flashy discussed such things as current affairs, life in general, women and their traits to being barking mad, this that and the other. Flashy has to admit to being at a bit of a low point and told Blondebint that he was a tad pished off with his situation and explained that he would like to find a solution. Various conversations via MSN ensued discussing how Flashy was going to resolve his dilemma and certain points of advice from blondebint was issued. This period was spread over approx two weeks. I was happy that I was chatting to someone (to a certain degree, anonymously. A good release as I'm sure some of you will know). During this time, Blondebint pushed the issue that we should meet up. She gave me her phone number, house address and various other bits of information that would be considered breaches of persec. Remember, all this in the space of two weeks. Flashy was polite and declined phoning, meeting or any other activity that would shatter the web/real life interface. Anonymous 'off chest' sessions are great but I didnt need a social worker or trick cyclist. Much to Blondebints disapointment.

Very shortly after this escapade, Blondebint had a few issues with a user name called Icybitch. Icybitch had posted a very amusing thread entitled Seven Dwarves. It was pure NAAFI bar material in that it was rude, disgusting and close to the bone. Top quality. and the sort of stuff squaddies love. Blondebint had PMd Icybitch complaining that she felt it was very 'below par and disgusting'. (Narrators snippit; Blondebint had categorically stated she felt she was 'officer class' and tended to spend a lot of time in the newly erected 'Officers Mess Chat' talking about Chardonnay and Labradors with various identifiable forum Officers).

Icybitch (who was a serving member of HM Forces) clearly felt a bit pished off about being brought to task over this by a civvy. (The rumblings of her fantasy chrarities and SF connections had started to become a bit louder and a bit more public by this stage). Icybitch took the decision to post the PM she had received from Blondebint in the newly formed NAAFI bar so all could see the 'Mary Whitehouse' attitude from the 'upstanding, respected and original member of arrse. The rights or wrongs of a private PM being posted is still a sticky issue but at the end of the day, if a member decides it is relevant and pertinent then so be it. As it happens, it was the catalyst to all we are seeing now IMHO.

At the time Icybitch had elected to post the 'Tsunami PM', Blondebint and I had ceased MSN correspondence to all intents and purposes. The occasional 'hello, hows you? and 'what you up to?' flowed but generally the main body of the 'relationship' had waned. The fall out from Icybitchs post quoting Blondebints PM ran to approx ten pages. An unheard of quantity back then. The main pugilists were Blondebint and Icybitch. Blondebint throwing a very large teddy out of her pram that her private discussions had been released to the populace. As you can imagine, the current members of the time decided that BB was probably in the wrong on two counts. Firstly for chastising Icybitch via PM and secondly taking a totally irrational (and hypocritical) stance on the board by claiming that Icybitch was prostituting herself, using arrse as her medium.

The following protestations against Blondebint and the backup for Icybitch did not sit easy with our subject. To the extent that Blondebint actively pursued me via PM, Email and MSN (incoming was approx 50 per day on each). She robustly protested that she was being treated unfairly and demanded I ban Icybitch (due to me being a moderator...even though I'm not in the position to do that). A period of approx four weeks ensued on the subject. Blondebint demanding I ban her (Icybitch) and take her side (Blondebint) to ensure she came out of the situation smelling of roses. At numerous points in this situation, I stated I firstly could not ban Icybitch and secondly thought that she (Blondebint) was in the wrong due to her 'Mary Whitehouse' attitude. I suggested various methods of regaining her 'respect' with the site and ways in which she could redeem herself. All advice was ignored by Blondebint and she became more and more frustrated that I would not bail her out.

This brings us to what I consider to be the 'second coming'. At this stage, Lady Flash had seen the light and remembered that the sun did actually shine out of Lord Flashearts backside and rejoined her spouse in the family estate (Flasheart had also regrouped and decided that he had been a bit of a tube too, shite happens).

The MSN sessions had turned from being 'one to ones' to 'Flash! You MUST delete her/him/them!! If you don't, I'll go fcuking nuts!! And your wife is a slut and doesn't love you!!' type affairs. Quite a shock to this callsigns mellow and forgiving ways.

I suppose I turned into a bit of a robot in stating the mantra each time on MSN - 'I cannot and will not ban such and such for being nasty towards you as I feel you are wrong in your opinion/post/judgement'. Truth is, I was fed up with her attempting to manipulate me (due to me being a Mod) by her demanding I adjusted her posts and others too make her look like she was always in the right.

At this stage, I had also gleaned information from other members and moderators to her true purpose and motives. These were her fanciful claims towards the DS of Hereford in that she had stated that they condoned and encouraged her MSN site in the recruiting of SF personnel, her claims towards her military charity affiliation, her claims regarding her ex husband and his activities. (All these claims were made by her, on this site, in public with no provocation whatsoever).

Flashy was suddenly realising he had almost been trapped by a person of dubious moral values. In the 'honeymoon period' of the MSN chats, (two weeks long remember) she had given me her phone number, home address, work place, names of most of her family members. This from a woman that claimed that she had solid connections with UK SF, special Branch, NI geeks and spooks and countless other members of the UK Int/Sec community.

  • Heads up* Blondebint had as a signature and link to - her own MSN website, Dare to Excel (she encouraged members here to join), a link to SSAFA - Just

Giving (with a picture of her self, her email address and a link to a radio interview that she gave to local radio stating 'Hi, I'm J****** A******** and I work at ****** in W******....). Persec skills of a German Spy called Hans with a very strong German Accent, wearing a pair of leder hosen and a cap with eidelweiss in it?

Due to her ramping fury as Blondebint and the perception that she was being ignored (found out as a walt, liar and all round head case), she shot herself in the foot and gained herself the first ever banning from arrse.

The reason she got banned was due to her unflinching opinion that she was correct, squaddies were thick and the women on the site were sluts. Not exactly a compatible bedfellow or opinion to follow if you wish to post on an Army Rumour website.

Most people who were of moderately sound mind would have taken the hint that this site and them were not agreeable and would have wandered off to a site that suits there style and personality. After all, Blondebint is a civvy, has always been a civvy and has dubious connections to anything military. Why should she feel she has anything of an input to as site such as this?

This brings us to phase three. The 'Changeling':

Not satisfied or content with the reasons why she had been banned from Arrse, she decided to re-enlist under a new user name (not unheard of: some newer members get off to a wrong start here and, through advice or device, change their name to start from fresh). Not our heroine. She decides to re-enlist with the sole intent of 'getting her own back' on the plebeians, thick squaddies and slappers that have wronged her in the past. The following couple of weeks on Arrse go without incident as she 'beds in' (i.e. she doesn't give her self away by posting anything that would give her position away: copy/pasting current affairs; agreeing with established members etc).

The site occasionally talks about the 'Great BB war' and some of the sage members remind the site that 'we need to learn from history so as not to fall foul in the future'. The newly emerging Arrse becomes bigger and stronger. This fact makes Blondebint feel she is missing out and feels a whole new audience should be introduced to her views and opinions. Her 'sleeper user name' now comes in from the cold. She opens old wounds and picks on female members who she feels have usurped her position as 'Queen Bee'. As well as taking issue with the way the site is run.

  • As a point to note, Flasheart was still attempting mediation at every incarnation that BB attempted. Each time she surfaced, Flasheart would advise, steer and generally suggest that she should find a website that would suit her better. All advice was ignored.

Each time she came back, she would be found out quite quickly (nothing to do with secret Mod powers of detection). The way she would be found out was quite simple. Despite her using various different user names (blokes; cute girly; non descript types... etc etc) and using different posting styles, she would always out herself in the long run.

Why and how I hear you ask? Simple: she cannot bear to be anyone other than herself and will always 'hint' at who she is. A true troll doesn't care what style it posts as. It just wants to cause as much commotion as possible. With 'Blondebint', she WANTS people to know it's her. It's her form of control and her method of operation. Each and every username she has had (running at over twenty), has always culminated in her doing a 'reveal' (a bit like the villain in Scooby Doo). She would be destroyed if people did not know it was her. To her that is the whole point. Each and every time she came back to the site, she would always run along the same MO

1. Log in using a 'sleeper'. Lots of copy/paste posts. Posts agreeing for no reason with everyone. Lots of smilies for no reason on all posts. This is an attempt to bed in a user name. 2. When her medication wears off, ensures she was discovered and does a Scooby Doo reveal. Instead of 'If it wasnt for you pesky kids' its 'if it wasnt for Flash, MDN, PTP etc fcuking my life up and compromising my security and making my kids turn into fcukwits'.... 3. Once uncovered, would then post in an uber aggressive manner attempting to settle scores with those that she perceives to have wronged her. 4. When she is jumped on by the whole site, threatens all and sundry with law suits, breeches of Persec and makes up whatever she feels will suit her argument. Demands the site be shut down. Recites potted versions of previous incursions. Demands all the moderators are sacked and sent to jail. 5. Deletes her previous posts to suit her previous argument so as to deny any 'evidence' that she was ever nasty to anyone. 6. Takes the stance of the bullied, abused, used, aggrieved, compromised vulnerable female set about by unfeeling, thick squaddies and abused by slags and slapper females of the site. 7. Locks on to any members who appear to be getting a hard time by the rest of the members attempting to gain allies. 8. Threatens to go to the Police/Mod/Social services to shut site down. 9. Fcuks off blubbing and rocking on her PC chair. 10. Arrse becomes a normal site again, ignoring the fact she ever existed. 11. See number 1.

It's a two to three month cycle. Mark it on your calendars.

Flasheart and how he destroyed Blondebint's life

Since Blondebints removal from Arrse, the site was again at peace. Only occasionally were the words 'I wonder if that tit Blondebint is still lurking?' heard from various members keyboards. A tranquil and calm atmosphere once again took over. Peace was a commodity that arrsers could not take for granted. Within two months, a strange force was felt by a few of the Moderators. This took the form of gut feelings, odd happenings on forums and PMs from other members who were a bit suspicious.

As if by magic, SHE was back in a new form (a bit like a Doctor Who reincarnation). During her enforced sabbatical from her beloved Arrse, she had still maintained contact with the young Flasheart via email and MSN. During her exile, Flashy had attempted to explain why she had been banned from the site and if she had any hope of coming back- how to act and conduct herself. This 'advice' didn't sit easy with the subject. She didn't agree with the reasons why she had been banned and didn't see why she should 'conform'. It became a mobius strip of an argument. 'If you don't change, you will be banned'..Wont change, I'll be back'...etc, etc, etc'.

Patience is by all accounts, a virtue. Something Flashy seems to have heaps of but would consider it to be more of a burden.

It didn't take long for our anti-heroine to settle back to her old ways. Same modus operandi, same intent. During her second coming, several members would attempt to chat to her via MSN. Mainly wondering where she bought her Class A drugs and what method of entry she would use to get her off her face. The consensus was she was mainlining Aviation fuel and injecting it directly into her eyeball.

I have used this analogy on a couple of occasions and still think it quite relevant:

A local pub is usually a place where a collection of people gather to relax, socialise and exchange information (I know, I know it's a place to get bat faced, dribble down a birds top then have a fight with an ash tray because it looked at your pint in a funny way). The pub remains a pleasant place if all within the establishment stick to a few basic rules and guidelines. If one person decides they don't like the beer or company, the sensible solution would be to go to another establishment that suits their taste. If that same person decided to kick off though because she or he wasn't being listened to, didn't like the other punters or generally felt they were several classes above the rest, they would get shown the door by the gorilla in a black bomber jacket, i.e. barred. Only a complete brain donor would attempt entry back into said ale house. Although if the person had changed their ways and promised to behave, a fair door man would give her or him the benefit of the doubt. If that person again kicked off for the same reasons and was chucked into the street a second time, you've got to start thinking that the person is either stupid or brave. If that person yet again pushed its way in (this time wearing a raincoat, false nose, fake moustache and a poor attempt at a wig), you would think that after going to all that trouble of disguising themselves, they would at least try and fit in. No, jelly head kicks off yet again and this time gets a good kicking and is then chucked in the skip. Now, no one would ever be stupid enough to come back a fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh time, would they?? You've got to say though; it must be a fecking good pub if this idiot tries on so many occasions to gain entry!

Ok, let's look at how Flasheart destroyed Blondebint's life shall we?

Her claims:

'Flasheart and chums have in the past hacked my PC, taken over and closed my website down, trolled my website, hacked my passwords, posted my photo without permission on arrse, posted my full name, address and phone numbers on arrse, read my private emails, threatened me with violence, emailed friends, family and employers losing me work contracts (I had to close my small business down due to this) and stalked me throughout the net, falsely posting on sites using my name etc etc...The list goes on and on.'?

Let's look at this in a bit more detail;

'Flasheart and chums have in the past hacked my pc'?.

If I could 'hack' a PC, I certainly wouldn't be doing the job I'm doing now. I would be working for some major banking firm helping them protect their systems or living on my own island with a dwarf as a side kick.

'taken over and closed my website down'?

Her site was an MSN based website. I pretty sure it is almost impossible to 'take over'.

'trolled my website'?

As has been stated before, Blondebint actively pushed her website on this site. She even had a link to it as her signature. Most of the members back then had a look round it, found it to be duller than summer's day in Portrush and a bit bizarre in its target audience. I find it amusing she uses the word Troll.

'hacked my passwords'?

Again, if I could do this, I wouldn't be wasting my time on a sad old slapper, I would be working out how to take over the planet.

'posted my photo without permission on arrse'?

Photos she had linked to herself. Photos that were on her website that she had pushed over here, photos from a SSAFA webpage, again that she had actively pushed on here. She used to keep her email address 'public' on her profile. As it was a Hotmail address, anyone with a Hotmail account can search and view any members profile on Hotmail. On her profiles, she had all the pictures you see in and around arrse.

'posted my full name, address and phone numbers on arrse'?

A claim she has constantly made. She posted her own name via her link to SSAFA in which she had posted a recording of a radio interview. In part one; we have seen the amazing PERSEC she demonstrated. I have done a thorough search of arrse and have not seen one instance where anyone has posted her full address or phone number.

'read my private emails, threatened me with violence, emailed friends, family and employers losing me work contracts'?

Refer to 'If I could 'hack' a PC'

'stalked me throughout the net, falsely posting on sites using my name'?

With as many enemies as Blondebint collects around the net, I'm sure the list is long and distinguished. Just how do you stalk someone around the internet?

Now, Flashy being a slightly pedantic chap, asked in a Columboesque manner 'Errr, just one more thing ma'am...Do you actually have any evidence of any of the above?' Not wishing to compromise any impending court case, Flashy wasn't after reams and reams of actual evidence, just a straight 'yes' or 'no' would have sufficed. In classic Politician speak, fcuk all was heard from the tit on the opposite bench.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch. Random emails were still being received (boy, were they random!). Requests such as 'DELETE ME FROM YOUR MSN!!!' 'YOUR WIFE IS A WHORE' and other such wonderful compositions.

(As users of MSN will know, if you do not wish to speak or be seen by a member on your MSN list, a very simple 'Block this user' can be employed. This advice was issued to Blondy but for some strange and perverted reason, was never heeded).

As a deterrent to these unwanted correspondences, Flashy had quite bluntly stated to Blondebint that each time she sent a PM or an Email, it would be 'shared for the good and benefit of Arrse'. Now, most people on this planet, would either stop sending PMs and Emails or at least stop sending potentially damning information via these mediums. (Remember, I said this planet). So, being a man of his word, Flasheart started 'Rebro-ing' this vital information to the viewers. Even when the first couple of reproductions hit the street, our heroine still continued to send emails.

Reads a bit like 'WARNING. SMOKING KILLS'. If you keep smoking having ignored the warnings, you are a bit daft if you continue to smoke, develop lung cancer then complain to the tobacco company that you have coughed up a gooey black mess that used to be one of your breathing organs.

Flashy on PERSEC.

PERSEC is not a dirty word. For those that understand and employ it, it becomes almost second nature when dealing with people outside our organisation. PERSEC is not something that can be done in half measures. A very easy 'gotcha' for the serviceman is trying hard not to be identifiable, doing all the R to I courses possible, sanitising himself prior to going on ops etc. All a waste of time if he appears in the local press or Corps/Regimental magazine standing next to his shiny War Tool of Death. It's easy to get caught out, I'm sure a most of us have fallen foul to this. But we do try. What is laughable is when a civilian shouts and screams that her persec has been compromised by other people. I would suggest that firstly, you have no idea what persec is and secondly, if you leave a paper trail across the internet that a potted plant could follow, you need to re evaluate your web activities.

Long and short of it is. Take responsibility for your own actions, don't court attention if you cannot defend yourself in a coherent manner and for fcuks sake, learn to politely leave when you are not wanted.

I shall end with a quote;

'Reap what you sow'. ├é┬ęBlondebint 2001

Legal note. Blondebint/Candida has mentioned on approx a million occasions that she feels aggreived her picture has been posted all over this website. The fact is, all pictures of Blondebint/Candida that are here, have been sourced at some point FROM blondebint/candida via the public links she has posted on this website. There is nowhere on this website that her phone number, address or any other information that she has not posted herself has appeared. If this is wrong, I stand corrected and will be more than happy to appear in court to discuss the matter with a Magistrate. My Commanding Officer at this time has been informed of all activities relating to the case Flasheart v Blondebint and has access to all records relevent. The Met Police, Special Branch and MI5 have copies and access to all information.

They have all said you are a cnut and a fruit loop, Blondebint and would love to hear from you. You will make their day as they are quite bored at present because the UK is quiet and rather boring with no one trying to kick off.

A cpunk note on Blondebint:


It remains unclear why Blondebint believes herself to be a terrorist target. Apparently her ex-husband was a police officer but this is a fairly tenuous connection and the fact is that this would hardly be likely to get her on the hit-list of any self-respecting terrorist or terror organisation. In reality, she seems to have worked quite hard to draw herself to the attention of internet users as someone with a connection to counter-terrorism and Special Forces which doesn't actually exist, except in her own mind. The opprobrium which she has brought down on herself on Arrse and on other websites is entirely the result of her own efforts.

Possible Diagnosis?

It looks like some form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. At a wild guess, BB has a long history of making spurious complaints to the police, her local council, the Queen, MI5 etc etc. It's a good way to get attention, just as slinging around bizarre and ludicrous accusations at Flash and the other moderators is.