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Tehran

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TinTin searches for the missing RN iPod.

Capital city of the Islamic Republic of Iran and quite possibly the Headquarters of The Axis of Evil.

Very much like Peterborough but with distinctly less boozers. Also noticeably absent are gobby chavs and pissed up binge drinkers emptying their stomachs in Wheelie Bins. That's the upside.

The downside is the ever-present shadow of the SAVAMA: the Iranian secret police. Popping a tin of Wifebeater and thumbing through a copy of Razzle in Revolution Square will result in your nads being wired up to a car battery in a time that would put Kwik-Fit to shame.

That said, there's an air of cosmopolitan society in Tehran, but it's hardly encouraged by the regime. Tehran is due for significant urban redevelopment courtesy of the USAF - that's provided the Israelis don't reduce it to 'glass car park' status beforehand.