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Swiss Army Knife

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giant_swiss.jpg

Where's the damn RPG?

The knife which 'has it all' - the illustrated variant being the SAS edition - who, ironically, wouldn't be seen dead with one. The first multi-tool and 'must have' item for every discerning Boy Scout, the Swiss Army Knife has since been eclipsed by Gerber and Leatherman's efforts and is now usually resigned to clipping toe nails and trimming nasal hair.

It's worth remembering however that unlike Leathermans and Gerbers, Swiss Army Knives don't usually have lockable blades, which means they are 'street legal' and, in reality, while the aforementioned Leathermans and Gerbers probably look a shade cooler, they can't do anything that a well specified Swiss Army Knife can't.

The knife's many editions can be found with a bewildering array of functions, notably:

  1. A machete
  2. Sonic screwdriver
  3. A tree saw, which fails to cut paper
  4. Can opener for those rip your wrist open moments
  5. A bottle opener for the ASBO striving youth
  6. A set of nose hair pluckers
  7. A bright red cover saying "Hey Mr Taliban, I'm here!"
  8. Fish scaler but isn't needed because if we follow that sensible man named Bear Grylls we don't need to scale a fish, we just eat it whole
  9. A magnifying glass to help us budding Sherlock Holmes wannabes
  10. A gutter for those annoying comrades who don't deserve two kidneys

[Feel free to add]

French Army Knife

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Où est l'ouvreur de bouteille?