The ARRSEPedia is the British Army encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

Stoke on Trent

From ARRSEpedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The place:

Not a city in the strictest sense as it has no cathedral, Stoke on Trent is actually a collection of six towns. It is situated roughly halfway between Manchester and Birmingham. Lucky us. One particularly notorious area, Bentilee, once boasted the title of largest council housing estate in Europe. If you happen to lose your car while in Stoke on Trent, check Bentilee.

The people:

Call each other "duck", when greeting, even between two blokes. Enjoy eating oatcakes.

Famous residents:

  • Robbie Williams (no longer lives here as he can afford not to)
  • Frank Bough (cork snorting, transvestite TV presenter)
  • Freddie Jones (appeared in The District Nurse with Nerris Hughes)
  • Lemmy from Motorhead
  • At least one member of Candy Flip (my god we've got some talent around here)
  • Not Slash from Guns'n'Roses (but his parents do live here and he visits once in a blue moon)
  • Sir Stanley Matthews
  • Phil Taylor
  • Dominic Cork
  • Garth Crooks
  • Arnold Bennett
  • Anthea Turner
  • Nick Hancock
  • Bruno Brookes (scraping the bottom of the barrel here, even if he did chuck a few up Anthea Turner)
  • Neil Morrissey (forget those Homebase adverts, just remember that he's chucked one up Amanda Holden)
  • Edward Smith, the captain of the Titanic. FFS. Stoke has produced some heroes...
  • Finally, the ace in the pack: Reginald Mitchell, inventor of the Spitfire, one the deciding factors of our victory in WW2.

Our impact on the rest of the nation:

Known as rhyming slang for bent.

Obligatory joke:

Q. What's the best thing to come out of Stoke on Trent?
A. The M6.