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South Pole

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The long winter nights just fly in

Where is it?



Bottom of the world (not to be confused with The Bottom of the World)

The Spams maintain the Amundsen-Scott "Research Base" down there, more for reasons of national prestige and shit & giggles than any genuine research.

As any kid will tell you there are two South Poles, Magnetic and Geographical. (awaits input by some navigational anorak explaining the movement of Magnetic South)

In actual fact though, there are two Geographical South Poles as well. One is the real one, a small plaque and a sign, situated at the actual South Pole; the other is the ceremonial pole, a gaudy red and white barber's shop pole with a mirrored ball on top surrounded by flags and signs yadda-yadda-yadda for photo calls for visiting politicians etc.

Living There

It should be noted that the entire continent of Antarctica has no native population, no commercial travel beyond tourism and in winter the researchers more or less drop down to a skeleton crew. The South Pole itself is sat on top of about 9,000ft of ice and midsummer peak temperatures are around -25oc, falling to a steady -65oc in the six-month-long darkness of winter. Unconfirmed reports even have visiting Geordies wearing long sleeved shirts. However, no independent evidence exists of this phenomenon.

Getting There

As above, no scheduled commercial travel is available to Antarctica and the tourists are mostly on specialist cruise ships from the Falklands and Chile. Being ships they stick to the coast and are usually around a thousand miles from the pole itself. You could walk the rest of the way...

Best advice is to wait for Ryanair to begin long-haul operations to South Africa and book a ticket to Capetown. That should drop you within a couple of miles of the pole (with a bus service to Capetown).


Depends how much you like penguins.