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South Africa

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Pre-1994 flag


Post-1994 flag

The unimaginatively named bottom bit of Africa and former dominion. During the time of the British Empire South Africa was one of the most profitable colonies: rich in gold, diamonds and other mineral wealth. That combined with the fact that it controlled the sea lanes to the Far East and had endless amounts of cheap native labour, it is no wonder that the British spent a lot of resources holding on to the area.

There were two wars with the Zulu Nation and two wars with the Dutch settlers known as the Boers, leading to many glorious defeats and victories (rather more than the latter) in the area such as:

A republic since 1961, the country's turbulent history is now going in to to overdrive now that the apartheid years are over, with the resident darkies getting their own back for having to sit at the back of the bus and use segregated bogs.

Contrary to popular belief, Free Nelson Mandela was not a Mail on Sunday offer, but rather a plea for the release of some bloke that nobody had heard of until he became the darling of the Labour left's anti-apartheid cause. His (eventual) release saw hundreds of leftie local council properties being named in his honour, which is why if you address a letter to Nelson Mandela House it could arrive anywhere but its intended destination.

Mandela's freedom brought with it a brief hiatus to South Africa's troubles, but his successor Tabo Mbeke (local lad) seems to be allowing - wittingly or otherwise - the country to slide towards anarchy, and it's only a matter of time before South Africa shares the same fate as Zimbabwe.

See also Saffa's