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Site Penis of the Year

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 Of course, anonymous posters just happen to coincidentally turn up conveniently once the nominations for SPOTY are opened, and proceed to hose down the site with feeble-minded bellendry for the next thirty days purely by accident, and are in no way sock accounts for users whose usual MO is to hose down the site with feeble-minded bellendry. This post was brought to you by the words "yeah" and "right". -- user dogmeat, December 09, 2020. 

Definitions Determined By ARRSE Members

noun

  1. Voted ARRSE's biggest penis, bellend, or cockwomble of the year (SPOTY).
  2. Elected ARRSE's most stupid, bone, persistent dickweed of the year.
  3. A persistent, Bona fide stupid twat and object of ridicule through their own stupidity and ignorance.

adjective

  1. Of or related to being a constant penis or dickhead on the site; a mong; repeatedly acting like a glans.
  2. An attention-seeking fucktrumpet that's consistently a laughing stock on ARRSE.
  3. Genuinely devoid of social skills, lacks intelligence and sound judgement.
  4. Incapable of rational behaviour; devoid of self-awareness, no self-control.

adverb

  1. ARRSE's most persistent and tedious prick of the year.
  2. Generally considered to be the biggest unreconstructed knob-head hairy canary on ARRSE.

disclaimers

  1. Not the same thing as a professional cunt or a skilled troll treating SPOTY as a badge of honour.
  2. Not awarded to ARRSE lifetime achievement recipients e.g. Bugsy, nor to Brexit trolls or malignant state actors.
  3. Not awarded to friendless, narcissistic wankers and dullards disrupting ARRSE for shit and giggles.

Executive Summary

A fairly new award to ARRSE, the annual SPOTY competition crowns the site's champion dickhead, chosen from a shortlist of ARRSE's biggest broken-brain batshit skip-lickers, including grown men. Imagine if you will, an annual public survey or poll, run by shit-stirring cunts, where loads of other cunts squabble, spit and slag each other off, while they're nominating the site's notorious bellend spunktrumpets for the ignominious Site Penis of The Year title. Rich that, eh? Incredible, and unbelievably FUBAR, but normal jogging for this website.

Polling

In the run up to the New Year, the good people of ARRSE vote on which member/poster will be the lucky recipient of the SPOTY stupid cunt award for the current year. Candidates are drawn from ARRSE's mong-magnet target-rich threads usually operating as St Trinian's common rooms for squabbling spastics. Surprisingly or not, the annual SPOTY Poll usually "starts bad, goes downhill from there and ends up with a battle of the Epsilons" (copyright The_Duke). The site's unfunny spastics are proud to be chosen and usually ask for medals, but it gets worse...

SPOTY Elections 2020

The winners were announced after polling closed on January 01, 2021. By a narrow margin, User Himmler74 was elected the ARRSE 2020 SPOTY with 34.2% of the vote. Loser runner-ups were Bravo_Bravo at 32.4%, and Higgs Bosun at 30.2% without even trying.

The 2020 polls were opened on November 22, and proceedings were overseen by two of the site's old lags. A fair few mongs and belters slugged it out in 2020, although virtually the same old cunts are nominated every year, and Arrsers are always spoilt for choice.

Based on their track records and official selection criteria (refer to SPOTY), and on user comments on the spectacular handbagging thread Site Penis of The Year 2020, the under-mentioned trolls, Sock Puppets and mongs were nominated for ARRSE's most lugubrious honour:

  • Himmler74 (SPOTY 2020)
  • Bravo_Bravo (the multisock cock)
  • A Signaller
  • PhotEx/meerkatz/SOI
  • Brotherton Lad
  • Chimp
  • Emcon Ecomcon (some kind of hot-desking foreign troll)
  • Robme
  • Higgs Bosun the ******

In the past, the winner by a wide margin has been Spider who, in his permanently deluded state, can't grasp the fact that he's a complete laughing stock. Yet during 2019, even bigger bell-ends were waiting in the wings:-

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SPOTY Elections 2019

After a spectacularly cuntish year (even for him): ARRSE User Bravo-Bravo ran away with the title. The competition was revised in November 2019: "based on comments on the main SPOTY thread, nominations were opened up into groups, to be closed on a set date to get the nominations for the SPOTY Finals from 8th December 2019".


As you'd expect with any worthy winner of this award, the 2017 and 2018 champion reached such levels of bellthronkery, it comes as no surprise to learn he or she was also well known for getting ROPd (sanctioned). We refer of course, to the mong-button-flailing jobless mental Momentum freak, Baglock the multi-sock Supermong. However, even that mong couldn't compete with the 2019 retarded queen of look-at-me penistry. All is revealed in the thread "Spoty 2019 Final".

Conspicuous Services to Cuntery

The deranged Supermong, Sock Puppet and SPOTY knob jockey for 2018 - Baglock - deployed unconvincing Sock Puppets almost immediately in every instance to carry on maintaining the high standards of zip-sniffing. From 2017, such dedication to scrotum tasting meant that this not-so-secret sock was also included in the line-up and amassed a huge percentage of the overall votes combined. The obnoxious little cunt suddenly flounced before the SPOTY 2019 competition, but isn't forgotten and can't escape. Arrsers suspect the dribbling twat has again returned, wearing various socks on several occasions, and that his numerous detentions in mental hospitals haven't worked.

Elevations to Supermong Status in 2020

Obviously, these stupid cunts will view this as an honour, but it is recommended that SPOTY champions should be elevated to ARRSE Supermong status, henceforth, forthwith and without further ado. Conspicous penistry, over twelve months, goes above and beyond the call of bellendery by any standards. Their fuckwittery shall never be forgotten.

Winners

2014

Spider

2015

Spider

2016

Offendi / Drivers_lag / MombaWomba

2017

Baglock/Sh**tinginabag

2018

BaglOck/Baglock/Sh**tinginabag

2019

Everybody's favourite Penis: ARRSE User Bravo_Bravo

2020

Himmler74, the Emperor Mong's favourite


References:

https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/site-penis-of-the-year.302689/.

https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/spoty-2019-final.297096/

https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/spoty-2019-group-1.296580/

https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/spoty-2019-group-2.296585/