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Serbia

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Serbia
125px-Flag_of_Serbiasvg.png 85px-Coat_of_arms_of_Serbiasvg.png
The Flag and Coat of Arms of Serbia

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The location of Serbia in Europe

A nation of small minds and bad smells. Like several other backward nations of Eastern Europe, its citizens are "Slavs," or in other words, slaves. They got this name from being the principal type of slave used in ancient Rome. As slaves, they were excellent - lots of muscles, but not very smart. Serbia also did the phenomenal achievement of starting 4 wars in 8 year and losing them all. Serbia's main exports are rapists and war criminals.

Location

The Republic of Serbia is a landlocked country in Central and Southeastern Europe, covering the southern part of the Pannonian Plain and the central part of the Balkan Peninsula. It is bordered by Hungary on the north; Romania and Bulgaria on the east; Albania and the Republic of Macedonia on the south; and Montenegro, Croatia and Bosnia and Herzegovina on the west. The capital is Belgrade.

History

Setting the Scene

The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes was formed in 1918; its name was changed to Yugoslavia in 1929. Various paramilitary bands resisted Nazi Germany's occupation and division of Yugoslavia from 1941 to 1945, but fought each other and ethnic opponents as much as the invaders. The military and political movement headed by Josip Tito (see below) (Partisans) took full control of Yugoslavia when German and Croatian separatist forces were defeated in 1945. Although Communist, Tito's new government and his successors (he died in 1980) managed to steer their own path between the Warsaw Pact nations and the West for the next four and a half decades. In 1989, Slobodan Milosevic became president of the Serbian Republic and his ultranationalist calls for Serbian domination led to the violent breakup of Yugoslavia along ethnic lines.

Everything Goes Pete Tong!

Boys' Day Out!
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Rape is taken very seriously in Serbia. These happy-go-lucky souls have taken ages to get ready. Next stop - Croatian children! Woohoo!

In 1991, Croatia, Slovenia, and Macedonia declared independence, followed by Bosnia in 1992. The remaining republics of Serbia and Montenegro declared a new Federal Republic of Yugoslavia (FRY) in April 1992 and under Milosevic's leadership, Serbia led various military campaigns to unite ethnic Serbs in neighboring republics into a Greater Serbia. These actions led to Yugoslavia being ousted from the United Nations in 1992, but Serbia continued its - ultimately unsuccessful - campaign until signing the Dayton Peace Accords in 1995. Milosevic kept tight control over Serbia and eventually became president of the FRY in 1997.

Kosovo

In 1998, a small-scale ethnic Albanian insurgency in the formerly autonomous Serbian province of Kosovo provoked a Serbian counterinsurgency campaign that resulted in massacres and massive expulsions of ethnic Albanians living in Kosovo by FRY forces and Serb paramilitaries. The Milosevic government's rejection of a proposed international settlement led to NATO's bombing of Serbia in the spring of 1999 and to the eventual withdrawal of Serbian military and police forces from Kosovo in June 1999. UNSC Resolution 1244 in June 1999 authorized the stationing of a NATO-led force (KFOR) in Kosovo to provide a safe and secure environment for the region's ethnic communities, created a UN Administration Mission in Kosovo (UNMIK) to foster self-governing institutions, and reserved the issue of Kosovo's final status for an unspecified date in the future.

Arrest of Running Dog Slobo!

The arrest of Milosevic by his own mates in 2001 allowed for his subsequent transfer to the International Criminal Tribunal for the Former Yugoslavia in The Hague to be tried for crimes against humanity. He died at The Hague in March 2006 before the completion of his trial, which caused much angst.

Tito

Tito was serious business. He was the glue that held this miserable ragtag country together, in spite of all the odds. He was widely regarded as an elder statesman and many came to his funeral. He was especially noted for delivering speeches focussing on partnership and domestic unity (hardly surprising) and a selection of his pithier bon mots are arranged for you here - note how in spite of his statesman-like skillz, he was ultimately proved wrong by the infinite capacity for mankind to fuck itself up by being selfish cunts.

  No one questioned "who is a Serb, who is a Croat, who is a Muslim (Bosniak)", we were all one people, that's how it was back then, and I still think it is that way today.
  We have spilt an ocean of blood for brotherhood and unity of our peoples and we shall not allow anyone to touch or destroy it from within.
  None of our republics would be anything if we weren't all together; but we have to create our own history - history of United Yugoslavia, also in the future.
  We study and take as an example the Soviet system, but we are developing socialism in our country in somewhat different forms.
  I will give everything from myself to make sure that Yugoslavia is great, not just geographically but great in spirit, and that it hold firmly to its neutrality and sovereignty that has been established through great sacrifice in the last battle (referring to the second World War).
  A decade ago young people en masse began declaring themselves as Yugoslavs. It was a form of rising Yugoslav nationalism, which was a reaction to brotherhood and unity and a feeling of belonging to a single socialist self-managing society. This pleased me a lot.

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