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Sandhurst Packed Lunch

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Ah! I remember it now: pitch black on the square, the company in open square bombing up by the headlights of the Blow me up Bus. Two days rations, ammo a plenty, radio kit, shovels, picks, drill mortars, D10. The bergens are now the size of a small family sofa bulging with trainers (issue), toggle ropes, guard combats in three layers of plastic (I'm not getting THEM dirty), and the big right angle torch.

Like Mr Creosote nothing more can possibly be consumed by the bergens and bulging pockets of the Cadets as they stand cammed up and ready for Wales. But what's this? 300 non-tactical white cardboard boxes appear as lunch isn't included in the ration plan. The Horror Bags have arrived!

Now I can see why that might be needed, and perhaps a big sandwich and a Mars bar are what you need. However what you get is:

  • An apple - a fecking apple - are we worried about scurvy?
  • A penguin biscuit - oh not for me thanks I'm full.
  • A ' tuna' sandwich in clingfilm - fishy.
  • And the absolute killer. A pot of yogurt. Fecking yogurt! No time to dump it got to put it in your bergen. Cue split plastic and rancid bergen. It just goes to show that someone has a sense of humour.

Of course you intend to eat the yogurt on the bus but due to the "time travel" capabilities of the Sandhurt MT pool you don't get time.

See also White Box of Death.