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Mary was a very strange young lady (Although after her antics during vacation in Mauritius her sexuality is up for debate). Her only companion was a little lamb. The fleece of this sinister creature was a most unprepossessing shade of white.Her friends were Jack & Jill,Jill was on the pill. Mary's parents had often discussed whether they should know...professional help, like. But her mother was a sturdy soul. "Patience, darling," she said to her husband, as she lovingly administered one more tender swipe to his naked buttocks. "Gnn-Argh-GggnnR-rrrgh?" he asked through his rubber gag. "Of course, sweetie-pie," she cooed soothingly, tenderly grinding her stiletto heel into his crotch. "I'll fix her up with that lovely sweaty bearded chap from the Ram Riders. Don't worry..." (smiling dreamily as he spluttered in ecstasy.) "I'll be doing something beautiful with that baa-aad little creature just as soon as Mary finds out what real life is all about." "Gnn-Argh-GggnnR-rrrgh!" he exclaimed by way of agreement. All the while thinking, "Gnn-Argh-GggnnR-rrrgh?!!" as his thought processes struggled to unmesh themselves from his physical needs. What he really meant to think, of course, was: "Shit! How am I going to stop her approaching Lionel? Once she finds out he's as queer as a nine-bob note, she'll give me hell." He broke into a cold sweat at the thought of the emotional desert in prospect: no more rubber gags; no more beatings; no more golden showers. It didn't bear thinking about. And as for poor Lionel...


The superior being of chatspeak, 'roflcopter' out takes down all lollerbladers, lmaoplanes and various other outlawls. Pilots of the roflcopter often enjoy a nice crispy ZOMGBBQPIZZA and some lolmonade. Children also enjoy a good ride in the roflcopter, as it spreads smiles and festivals known as the 'lolapalooza' across the world, where you can meet such famous chaps as Michael Jackson and Gary Glitter and hold hands and sing songs.


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