The British Military Open Encyclopedia - ARRSE-Pedia. Back to British Army Rumour Service Home

Rolled oats

From ARRSEpedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Some things really were better in the old days. Perhaps not politicians, policemen or pubic hair administration, but ROLLED OATS were the king of rations. It is nothing short of miraculous that pouring a little BWBTM (boiling water / beard trimmings / mud) in to a small paper bag of white stuff could create such a feast. The high point of the day. Nectar of the gods.

BUT BROTHERS, There was of course PERVERSITY. The disgusting disclouration of the holy mixture through the sacriligeous use of CHOCOLATE POWDER! Nor should one ignore the blaspheming sect which polluted the Holy Rolled Oats with Apple and Apricot Flakes.

Then came divine retribution and, for the disgraceful perversions of the few, man paid the ultimate price and the holy gift was removed from the ration pack forever.

Return to Rations