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Red Bull

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Gives you wings, according to the advert.

Mind you, so do Claire Rayner's panty liners...

This particular fizzy, sugary water was the first mass-market fizzy, sugary water to be described as an "energy drink". This provided the company with a unique selling point which allowed them to carve out a sizeable share of the vastly lucrative fizzy, sugary water market.

What's in it?




Taurine, which has no clinically proven benefits in most people.

Good old-fashioned caffeine, which you can get from a can of Coke (or even Panda Cola should your taste buds already be irreparably damaged).

Side Effects?

Makes your pee smell funny.

Also, it is suspected to be harmful when mixed with acne medications or antibiotics. Tough luck if you're a spotty teenager being treated for chlamydia - which, unfortunately, comprises the bulk of their customer base.

Sponsorship deals

The huge profit margin generated from selling what is effectively Panda Cola with fewer flavourings, a tiny amount of a non-essential amino acid and in miniscule cans, but priced like it's made from Cindy Crawford's pussy juices allows the company to slap their name all over every stupid sport, ever.

Fancy throwing yourself off a pier with a Colditz glider taped to your arms? Try the Red Bull Flugtag

In F1 they own two separate F1 teams which has to rank as the quickest way to throw cash down the drain ever devised by a human being.

Just in case these aren't big enough ways to spunk away money, they also own four football teams.

Red Bull (or something like it) is a constituent component of Wee Beastie.