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Royal Army Pay Corps

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RAPC.jpg Royal Army Pay Corps

Royal Army Pay Corps : Fine bunch of accounting men - one and all. This once proud Corps was sadly disbanded in 1992. Whilst the RAPC existed nobody ever had a pay problem ever. God didn't like this and so made the RAPC merge with some other strange people and made everybody do each others' jobs. This worked really well as the recruiting standard went from second only to the Intelligence Corps, to almost as low as the Infantry. Genius.

Now part of the Staff & Personnel Support Branch, though there are still small groupings ex-RAPC to be found in the vicinity of Winchester.

They are/were nicknamed The Paper Tigers on account of their pencil necked physiques and the fact it is/was largely full of women called beryl or dorris,they did however capture Mount Longdon in 82,this battle was wrongly attributed to the Paras.This corps is also believed to have invented office slang such as "ideas shower","touch base" and when refering to a specific time "aiming for",they also hold the World British army record for Arse photo copying.It had its own freefall parachute team nick named the pastys on account of them rarely leaving the office,they were however tasked at the highest level to parachute into ransome zones with large amounts of tax payers cash ,..they were never however used,they also had responsibilty for Storming the Bank of England if it was ever taken over by terrorists.


Coffee day 23rd March,Commemorates the bloodeist day in unit history pre-Longdon when a coffee machine fell onto a table loaded with doughnuts causing several injuries,thus on this day in a strange quirk of fate that only the British Army can deliver they Drink tea all day as oppossed to Coffee.

Field Marshall Montgomery said,"Bloody nice fellows those neckys and they make a darn good coffee to boot".

Major David Nosh,3 Para on the eve of Longdon said,"when we saw those RAPC blokes fixing Bayonets we knew it was going to get messy and that Longdon was as good as ours"

Commodore Cuthbert Buntingford-Fookwit Captain of the QE2 During Operation Corporate said,"we were lucky enough to have several females from the RAPC on the voyage home and Staff Sergeants Beryl "slut" Bottomly and Sheryl "crack whore" Moor kindly allowed a Fluff hole to be bored into their cabin door this provided great comfort for the lads of the Paras,unfortunately in the excitment so did Captain Malcom "shit" Whaller [RAPC] he doesnt eat heinz Tomato soup to this day"...Interestingly this door [beryl and sheryls] now has pride of place at the Corps Museum on Lundy Island no touching however.

Notable ex-members

Fred Goodwin

Robert Maxwell

Bernie madoff

Ronnie Biggs

Jimmy Savile