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Sieg Heil!

"You can be the President/ I'd rather be the Pope." - Prince

Head Honcho in the Roman Catholic Church. All Christian churches are 'catholic' (with a small 'c'), but this one is of the former Roman Empire type - and the Pope is, in theory, Christ's Vicar on Earth. The post is currently held by a former Hitler Youth from Bavaria with a bit of a downer on contraceptive devices and all other religions it seems.

He's also (allegedly) not keen on Islam [Who is?] having quoted a Byzantine Emperor who was on the pointy end of gentle Islam: Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.

The Islamic retaliation to 'that' sentence proved that times have not changed and "Cut the heads off the Infidels" and "Lets go to the UK and tell their kids to kill each other in an explosive suicidal manner" T-shirts and banners were displayed with gusto. Usual drill really. He might as well have said that Muslims weren't fit to lick dogshit of the soles of his jackboots for the furore that ensued. A right ol' tetchy bunch they are. Any excuse for a bit of effigy immolation and flag ignition.

In july 2007 a new declaration approved by Pope Benedict XVI insisted Protestant churches were mere 'ecclesial communities' and their ministers effectively phonies with no right to give communion. There is only one Christian church and it's Catholic. As Herr Pope said... “Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Papa!”

December 2008 and Pope Benny decided that taking it up the hoop was bad and should be viewed as important as saving the rain forests. Naughty anti gay comments here.

Islamaphobe, protestant-hater and homophobe, you've got to admit this Pope has opinions unlike the last one who just covered up paedophilia in mother church.

Famous for such quotations Does the Pope shit in the woods? and Is the Pope a Virgin. Also famous for Papal bath time products - the Pope-on-a-Rope (which sells very well in Northern Ireland) being the most successful. The Vatican gift shop does quite a line in themed gift ware: Turin Shroud duvet covers, Mary Magdalene tea towels and super absorbent stigmata pads to name but a few. But I digress.