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Free flip-flops Madam?

That fine establishment founded by Robert Peel in 1829 when the Metropolitan Police Act was passed which provided permanently appointed and paid Constables, responsible for keeping law and order.

The current 'Peeler' is drowning under a sea of paperwork - a two-second assault generating as much as twelve HOURS of paperwork! ARRSer Closet Jibber sums it up beautifully:

An RTC (Road Traffic Collision) used to involve getting the details of the cars, people, damage involved and working out how it most likely happened.

This part takes about 40-60 minutes if there is no serious injury or death and everyone is still present. However that was too easy. We now need to complete four pages of stats forms to be submitted which take into account everything about the people (religion, sex, nationality, disability, occupation, reason for being on the road, requirement for social support).

These forms have to be duplicated and cannot be copy and pasted or photocopied - even where the information is the same. If there is no damage the damage stats form still has to be completed. Same for casualties. If it involved a pupil going to or from school we need to know everything about that pupil's journey and school they attend.

Finally if any part of these forms are not completed the complete file is returned to the officer in the same manner a dirty weapon is returned to a sprog with a 'shittogram' attached - even for an error that the desk jockey could've corrected without having turned a page.

The result? RTC Files take anywhere between 3-5 hours to complete and often fade into the background of 'things to do' when new incidents come out. You can either be a Jack bastard and say 'Engaged Paperwork' or start making your way to it. Then another arrest/incident will mean another file and now you have two half-completed files instead of one (if it's an Arrest File, they can take on average six hours). Hence why so many bobbies these days are one-hit-wonders (one arrest or serious incident per day).

This is just one example of one type of incident. Dishonesty Offences and Drugs Offences all come with their own sh1t too which I won't go into the realms of boring you with. [Anyone still want to join der polizei?]

Poor ol' Officer Dibble is also compelled to suffer random direction changes in government-mandated policing policies - not to mention the myriad hair-brained local government initiatives, like being nice to the pikeys, promoting 'gay pride' and doling out 'free' (rather taxpayer-funded} flip-flips to half-dressed slags hammered on WKD, as they stagger up the street at 3am, to save them from breaking their necks in their 'inappropriate footwear'.

On top of all that there's diversity issues, and all the equal opportunities bullshit. Just don't mention a seeming over-enthusiasm in shooting Brazilians or kicking in the back doors of homes belonging to the wrong targets... and shooting them.

To be fair, today's plod suffers with the current government policy of incorrectly profiling innocent citizens then terrorizing the population to push through unpopular laws - and then having to deal with the resulting panic, as well as allegations of institutionalized racism, a litigious 'no win no fee' legal system and political correctness that can be described at laughable... if it wasn't so pathetic.

The police are increasingly viewed by the public (who's consent they police by) as nothing more than uniformed enforcers of New Labour policy, and whilst this is perception, perception counts for quite a lot. The bond of trust that has existed between police and public for nearly two centuries is eroding at an alarming rate. If the police continue on the path of politicisation, then the damage done will be irreparable, and this once fine institution will be no different than an armed militia in some far flung dictatorship.


Derogatory Terminology

Can also be referred to as Copper, Polis, Filth, Pigs, Bizzies, Polizei, Rozzers, Scuffers, Ol' Bill, etc.


See also: