|Blind football, nails or what? - even if no one gave them a ball!|
- An Olympic-style event for the disabled - complete with expulsions for drug offences, inept officials and the "special" members of society standing on podia, or...
- A series of sporting events for the airborne fraternity.
- the latter is more than likely made up, as nobody has ever heard of it
- (yes it was made up. It's called a "pun" or "play on words")
is an Olympic-style event for the disabled. It is the ginger son of the sporting family, the embarrassing runt of the litter, the mong child.
In the 'normal' Olympics you get a 'gold' plated medal for 1st, 'silver' for 2nd and 'bronze' for 3rd. In the Paralympics (be it for the disabled or the Parachute Regiment) you get an ice cream for 1st, a lollypop for 2nd and a balloon for 3rd. Window licking to and from the event in the special bus is optional, but recommended (except in the winter Olympics for obvious reasons).
Even in today's enlightened and politically correct times, there is still some unease surrounding the Paralympics. In fact, nobody - outside of the elite sphere of 'Paralympians' and their supporters - really gives a shit; or rather less of a shit than they give about the 'real' Olympics - which, to be fair, are forgotten almost as quickly as the torch is extinguished.
All this despite a 13 year-old girl trouncing all opposition and winning a Gold Medal - with no fucking arms or legs (probably) - and yet it still failed to warrant a mention in the national meeja, who were far too pre-occupied lamenting the drubbing of a third-rate, tennis playing, English-hating Porridge Wog by some Johnny Foreigner type. [No change there then?]
Whatever one's view, the Paralympics is a triumph of the will over adversity. Running the 10,000 metres is hard enough. Doing it on your knuckles with no eyeballs is nails - whether you win it or not.
|Find out more in the Dictionary|