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Pakiland .. err .. stan

Squeezed between India, Afghanistan, Iran and bizarrely China, this is the home to 165 million Pakistanis ... almost as many as Bradford.

A nation of extremes. Possesses high tech kit but also has huge regions of interbred tribal hairy arses....come to think of it...a bit like Scotland (but at least in Scotland you can get a drink and a pork sausage!).

Most corner shops in Scotland are run by pakistanis where you CAN get a pork sausage and oddly some of the roughest (but softcore) grot you have ever seen! (The Pakistani community makes up nearly 50% (around 40,000) of the minority ethnic population in Glasgow and is the largest such community in Scotland. I guess cause the deprivation reminds them of Pakistan!)

Sometimes pretty good at Cricket and very good at fermenting islamic jihad, this nation has been (since its inception) on the verge of being a failed state (but frighteningly with Nukes!).

Currently has issued orders to shoot at Spam troops who cross into Pakistan unannounced .... if only we could shoot them as well! - might make up for some of the one way Friendly Fire incidents.

Invented Taliban.