OGDW - Operation Gone Disastrously Wrong.
'What do you mean you've removed my cancerous kidney? I've only come in for a fucking X-Ray!' As laughable as it may seem, these are not uncommon. Some put it down to failing standards in medical colleges, some put it down to illiterate staff, some even say it's down to recruiting Grauniad readers. One thing's for sure. Setting foot in hospital is more of a gamble than slapping a month's wages on a three-legged blind donkey in the 3:30 at Haydock. Expect your spleen to appear on eBay... if you live long enough to log on that is.
OGDWs can be applied to military operations as well:
- The Israelites spending decades wandering in the wilderness was supposed to be a weekend camping trip.
- The 1st Crusade was a Vatican-sponsored cultural exchange that went badly wrong after a night on the piss in Tyre.
- The Hundred Years War was an insurance scam that got out of hand.
- A cheese and wine party at the Iranian Embassy went seriously awry when the SAS were accidentally invited rather than the CEO of SAS (Scandinavian Airlines).