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News of the World

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The News of the Screws

The 'sister' Sunday newspaper to The Sun. The NotW largely contains stories in which young, under-aged looking female reporters offer their sexual services to lonely Vicars, masturbating retired Majors and frustrated Headmasters before gleefully exposing them under the headline SHAME OF PERVERT VICAR/MAJOR/HEADMASTER [ Delete as appropriate] which generally causes said miscreant to commit suicide. The rest of the content of the 'News of the World' consists of equally under-aged looking girls with their jugs out for the pleasure of the voyeuristic paedophiles who form much of the repellent rag's readership.

Disturbingly the NotW has been cited as a repository of all that is true by real socialist Dennis Skinner MP (Dec 2005). While delivering a commons berating of the Conservatives poor economic policies in the '80s, he made the accusation "The only thing that was growing then were the lines of coke in front of Boy George and the rest of his mob." As Mr Skinner growled the words "Boy George", he pointed at George Osborne, the young Conservative shadow chancellor. When he was asked by the speaker to retract the statement his reply was "That was in the News of the World, so It's true!"

Not sure what's scarier ... New Labour or Old Labour!