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Michael Carroll

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King of the Cunts

If there is proof that God does not exist, then this fucking specimen of humanity is it. Carroll from Swaffham, Norfolk - a former binman and serial cretin - came to notoriety after winning nearly £10 million on the National Lottery - which he collected whilst wearing an electronic tag.

The multi-millionaire and self-styled 'King of Chavs' immediately bought four homes, a holiday villa in Spain, four cars, several quad bikes, and a stake in Rangers Football Club.

Totally lacking in any style or panache, Carroll - who wears enough gold jewellery to put Gordon's big sell-off to shame - has been in constant trouble with the law, both before and since his win, but the authorities (council and police) are largely - and predictably - powerless to really make any impact on this useless twat's antics. In the meantime, Carroll persists on making a cnut of himself and pissing off anyone within his locale.

Carroll's misdemeanours range from using drugs (for which he's blown thousands on) to causing a public nuisance - something of which he's elevated to an art form. 2004 saw Carrol banned from driving for six months after he was caught in a new £50,000 BMW without insurance or full license. In 2006, he was actually jailed for affray, but (unfortunately) only for nine months. He has allegedly blown virtually all of his entire fortune (within 18 months) on houses, cars (which he trashes in his back yard), and gold jewellery. Recently convicted of cocaine possession. Nice!

Carroll is also alleged to have flirted with Loyalist organisations in Northern Ireland and sports a UDA tattoo. The King of the Cunts is currently living in a £350,000 shit tip near King's Lynn, where he can often be seen big-timing it with his sycophantic entourage of rent-a-mongs, who will doubtless disappear once the beer chits dry up.

Needless to say, there are those out there who would wish ill of this pikey filth, and it's only a matter of time before he falls foul of someone's ire and gets a total and utter shoeing - or worse/better. If there really IS a God, then can you please read this and sort the cnut out with cancer or something?