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ARRSE User: meerkatz aka PhotEx is an imported dullard acting as ARRSE's chief incurable civvy bore and uber pedant, pontificating 24/7 like he's a paid subject matter expert. He's up against some pretty stiff competition on ARRSE, and his posting history shows an open contempt for the British Army. Nevertheless this broken-brain fraud is only a mere, "relatively low grade Civil Servant who has never served in the military" (Magic_Mushroom, 07.12.2018). His fetish for cats in his various sock incarnations always gives him away.

Meerkatz the ARRSE Oracle


Civvy scum socks 'SOI' and 'PhotEx'are thoroughly dedicated to pissing off the site membership while derailing numerous threads. Apparently on the autistic spectrum, ARRSE's persistent walting Aspie is usually nominated for the annual ARRSE SPOTY award. Meerkatz/PhotEx (QC, KBE, and SME with Bar) has bored Arrsers rigid in various guises, since May 2015.

PhotEx and BaglOck the Fcuking Dullards

This permasending know-all has been ROP'd yet still pontificates from the SinBin or switches to one of its sock puppets. At the last count, its latest incarnation PhotEx was averaging over 17 posts a day. How does he do it? Usually running a close second to his fuckwitted sock compadre BaglOck/Baglock: both walk away with the votes during the SPOTY "Prick" elections. Perfect then, for the Civil Service (Defence).

Blarney Bluffer

Corporal of the ARRSE Bellend Squad and a worthy runner-up in the SPOTY awards, meerkatz (real name Blarney Bluffer) is ARRSE's very own mongoose and civil service chod. It's no wonder that UK Defence and Britain are in permanent shit state.

He is our self-styled oracle on all things military and political. Yet like all of ARRSE's numerous obnoxious civvy scum, meerkatz/PhotEx/SOI never wore the Queen's military uniform, and never deployed. Again: exemplary Civil Service material.

Mickey Mouse Qualifications

Meerkatz is Google's best customer and ARRSE's Oracle, hosing down the specialist knowledge threads with over 17,000 posts, in three years. Or to be accurate: over 500 posts a month. Apparently, CS office gophers (or unemployed bluffers) have far too much free time, and you're paying for it all.

According to the esteemed Arrserati, our professor of bollocks "holds a degree from the University of Wikipedia"; he's also meerkatz the award winning estate agent, meerkatz the aircraft designer and meerkatz the motorway pundit.

Besides a Naval and RAF aviator, Merchant Navy Engineering Offr, and a weapons specialist, somehow meerkatz finds the time to advise the Army Board.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

An autistic window licker with obsessive ARRSE disorder, or a real dedicated hero? You decide. Of course, concerned members have directed matters of national importance to the only person qualified to answer:

Meerkatz has all the answers; he is the only man who could unite the Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. And he's the best Solicitor General we never had.

Tropper (MIA) invented him and Google sponsors him. For advice on Defence Procurement just page Admiral/Field Marshal/Air Chief Marshal meerkatz. There was a rumour that he was once POTUS, but he was too busy googling.

The Reality

The reality is not so glamorous, meerkatz/PhotEx/SOI (Blarney) is a mere CS office wallah with lightning search skills and multiple personality disorder. Google Fu bluffers tend to pass themselves off as experts, so he's just full of shite then. Relish the day when the chod is stretched by the neck and gets a 21-gun salute fired up his clack.

References valid December 2018:

ARRSE User Photex:

Meerkatz as 'PhotEx':