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Medical Officer. Traditionally the hardest man (or woman) in the world to convince about anything malady-related. If you visit the MO with the attitude that he already knows you're a malingering cnut, you may well be surprised and come away with a much-prized biff chit - or a box of Strepsils. Some are on first name terms with the MO and spend their entire career swerving any kind of duty. Quite mystifying as to why they joined up in the first place really considering our benefits system.

Things you don't want the MO to ask you:

  • So, how many units of alcohol would you say you consumed in a week?
  • About this anal problem ... spent any kip time with 3 Para Mortars recently?