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Little Old Ladies

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Scourge of the western world

  • Guilty of attempting to bring about the downfall of Her Majesty's Government by any means.
  • Likely to be a member of the militant wing of the W.I.
  • Conservative voter.
  • Capable of making IED's (improvised evening dinners) and becoming suicidal if the flans are a flop.
  • To be shot on sight at any airport if they make any movement deemed to be 'aggressive' (trigger happy and exhausted police to make call without requirement to account for their actions). If apparently peaceful, ensure full body cavity search just to be on the safe side.

Scourge of shoppers in the western world

  • Manoeuvres blindingly fast into the queue in front of you at Sainsbury's, even though burdened down with a trolley piled high with groceries whilst the (comparatively) youthful Arrser is only handicapped by a basket containing three items.
  • Proceeds to pay for the six months' worth of cat food and lavender room freshener with about 16 billion 2p-off vouchers.
  • Causes pavement rage with those tartan-clad trolley things that they use to transport their supply of wee odour.
  • Beware pictures of grandchildren shown to you in tearooms. Similar in effect to Rohypnol so unless you want to be a notch on a GILF's bedpost... stay alert!