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A beer which is fermented at low temperatures and then stored for several months in order to mature the flavours. Generally, but not always, light in colour.

More recently, lager has become the staple of the British pub or bar as it is usually served cold to mask any flavour it has; it is thus highly suitable for young learner Alcoholics to practice on. These junior beers are not real lager, however, but simply a light-coloured flavour-free substitute brewed at low cost for people who don't give a shit what they drink, provided it contains alcohol.

  • Aunty Stella being a fine example, possibly the only decent thing to come out of Beliguim.
  • Budvar The original Bud and frankly worth ten of the Yank crap.
  • Staropramen One of the finest Lagers ever produced.

Lager in vast quantities makes you far cleverer than you were earlier in the evening and makes you irresistable to Splitarses.

See Herforder Pils for a high quality real Lager.