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Ken Livingstone

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Ken (fucking) Livingstone - Former Mayor of London (even though they already have one - and have done for some time). The product of an unholy liaison between human and pit viper. A spinning (in his grave) Dick Whittington would generate enough electricity to power Swaziland if he could see this cnut.

'Affectionately' known as 'Red' Ken - due to his affiliations with the Commies during the heady days of the GLC, Livingstone also flirted with the IRA at the height of The Troubles - something that a lot of people seem to forget. His history sort of nullifies all this anti-terrorism rhetoric he espouses from time to time.

He is often seen flitting around the globe at London taxpayers' expense, getting chummy with various left-wing dictators with human rights records which give Ken a stiffy. He also has a penchant for visiting various Islamist dictators. I guess the prospect of losing his political opponents at the bottom of a pit is quite attractive to him, hence his idolisation of those nasty regimes which actually practise this.

Livingstone is singularly responsible for the Congestion Charge, which (if we're being honest) has made quite a difference to the city's pollution and traffic levels - and its coffers. Apart from that, he's done fuck all - apart from also getting us embroiled in the 2012 Olympic Games debacle. Well done Ken. That's going to be a fucking belter of a legacy when people finally wise up to this bottomless money pit you've dug.

And so it came to pass that the good people of Olde London Towne did indeed wake up and smell the coffee - 1,168,738 of them to be exact. The local elections of May 2008 saw the sneering leftie cnut consigned to the out tray when Boris Johnson ousted his miserable arse by a majority of 140,000.

This victory is widely regarded as a sea change in British politics, with the New Labour dream suffering an extreme bout of alarm clock going off syndrome.

Livingstone's poisonous machinations of playing the race and diversity cards once too often has backfired, with many from ethnic groups seeing his efforts as being more divisive than encouraging cohesion in the community. Ho hum. Bye Ken. Missing you already.