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John Pierce

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johnpierce.jpg
In ex-Rhodesian SAS guise

One half of the infamous Pierce brothers. Johnny Pierce is a small time militaria dealer from Helston in Cornwall who regularly ‘trades’ on eBay and is (apparently) a wonderful person to do business with... not.

His identical 'twin brother' John is a former Rhodesian SAS trooper, Selous Scout and holder of the coveted Bronze Cross of Rhodesia. He also served in the South African Defence Force.

If that wasn’t enough action to slake anyone’s thirst for glory, John then went on to join the British Army in the 1980s following the creation of Zimbabwe in 1980 - him now being persona non grata with 'Oom Bob's' regime.

He then served in the Parachute Regiment’s 2nd Battalion during the Falklands Conflict, rising through the ranks at a meteoric rate and reaching CSgt in just two years!

The above is, of course, a crock of bollocks – as you’ve probably already suspected. Johnny and John are one and the same. It all started to go wrong for our man in 2006 when he appeared at a Remembrance do sporting his SAS blazer, medals and beret, and made that most fundamental error of walting – that of having his picture taken.

It wasn’t long before Pierce appeared on the radar of the ex-Rhodesian community; after all a BCR holder is quite a thing with only one hundred and thirty-one awarded (nine of which went to the SAS). Unsurprisingly, nobody – including C Squadron vets – had ever heard of the cnut, never mind recognised him.

Pierce was supposedly quite popular with the ex-forces community in Helston. He’d obviously done some homework and regaled to all who would listen stories from the Bush War and the South Atlantic, and how he was a personal bezzer with none other than Andy McNab. He also enjoyed walting it up in Para Reg 2s, badged up as a 'colour boy' - and incorrectly dressed with a Stable Belt.

pierce2.jpg
In Para guise

Being such a star attraction, he was invited to lay a wreath at the memorial in Porthleven, Cornwall, and it was at this juncture when Pierce’s antics went off the rails when he was happy snapped.

Pierce also appeared on an Airborne Forces website forum and backed up his tall stories with various user IDs such as Big Yin, Rhodie, Thomo and Phoenix. Needless to say he was bubbled quite easily as a sad mong.

He also appeared on other forums posing as an ex-French Foreign Legion private investigator and used the name of 'William Bodie' – Lewis Collins’s character name in The Professionals TV series [Absolute fucking sacrilege!]. He also uses the name 'Jack Russell'. What a cnut – and an unimaginative one at that.

The coup de grace was administered in May of 2008 when Johnny appeared in The Sun and Daily Mail newspapers and the story confirmed what many had (and also hadn’t) suspected. Johnny was nothing more than a fucking walty cnut who had bluffed his way once too often. Yet again, the curse of the SAS beret had struck.

Once bubbled by the newspaper, Pierce denied he was a walt and blamed it all on his walting twin brother. This obviously didn’t wash with the diligent newshound and Pierce admitted he’d been a fool, and that he’d meant ‘no malice’ – unlike many who do mean it... like the ex-Rhodies for instance.

Like moths to a candle they come, and like flies to a newspaper they fall. Next!

Acknowledgements

Many thanks to ARRSEr Jack Daniels for his assistance in compiling this entry.

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