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Jamie Barratt

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Jamie 'Piefinder' Barratt

The latest in a seemingly endless lineage of Walts, local bus driver and lard arse Barratt achieved notoriety by appearing at a parade in Edinburgh commemorating the 25th anniversary of the Falklands War with a chestful of medals that would've put some senior officers in the shade. Weighing in at a whopping 20st. and sporting airborne style porkies, Barratt certainly struck an imposing figure.

Proudly wearing a Parachute Regiment, 3 PARA tie and a group of medals reflecting 'his' service in Oman, the South Atlantic, Cyprus and Bosnia, Barratt larged it up big time amongst genuine ex-servicemen - a significant quantity of whom were actually ex-3 PARA - and made the most fundamental error in waltdom - having his picture taken... lots.

Such was the high profile of the commemorations, Barratt found himself plastered all over the Internet and it was only a matter of (very short) time before eagle-eyed medal experts confirmed what some at the parade had already suspected.

Piefinder Barratt had purchased his finery from that bastion of honesty and virtue... eBay. His medals were engraved with 'his' service details (in both the paras and Them) and were professionally (but incorrectly at his insistence) mounted. But the gentleman who had carried out the task just happened to have a sales record with Barratt's details.

With information gleaned off three forums, one of the genuine ex-paras decided to bubble the clown to the local rag and pie-scoffing Barratt's days of walting were numbered and he was duly exposed for the sad mong he really is - a local bus driver: more chairborne than airborne.

Whether we have seen the birth of an extreme form of walting - i.e. throwing oneself in to the lions' den - has yet to be determined, but Barratt has been elevated to the pantheon of ├╝berwalts for his actions. Had Jamie taken the time to read Walting With Confidence all this could've been avoided. A lesson to all would be heroes.

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