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Isle of Wight

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Balmy isle just off the coast of Southern England. There's an air of the Channel Islands about this place - a pleasant detachment from the stifling hustle & bustle of the mainland. But if you move there with the mistaken belief that it is a tax haven, then you're in for a surprise, 'cause it isn’t. Yo miserable white nigga ass is going to bled dry by the Babylon just as much as it is over the briny in Hampshire.

In fact, the island used to be part of Hampshire - that was until some pikey did a dodgy tarmacing job on someone’s driveway in Calshot - the resulting subsidence being somewhat unexpected. The Isle of Wight is famous for its music festival of 1970, when Jimi Hendrix stole the show by playing My Old Man's a Dustman on the spoons - before setting fire to them. The festival has since been revived, albeit without Hendrix. Spoons are forbidden on the island... probably.

Unusually, the IoW is in a different timezone to the mainland UK. Please adjust your watches to 1958.

More here: IoW