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Hell

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"Welcome to Hell. Expect delays in the first and second layers with two lanes closed off just after the sixth layer. Have a great day."

The stick destination for those Christians who have been naughty.

Bad Burny Burny place with devils wielding pitchforks treating your willy like a cocktail sausage. Forever!

Italian Renaissance poet Dante's vision of Hell was of many concentric levels with the nastiness getting worse the deeper you get. Obviously minor sins like gluttony, sloth and lust are fairly minor and sinners with form like this can be found near the top. Deeper down you find sinners like taxmen and traffic wardens. Right at the bottom you find Hitler and most UK MP's. Serve your time and you get to advance to Heaven.

Depending on your brand of Christianity:

  • You may already be destined for Hell no matter what sort of a life you've led (as put forward by some spam Christian fundamentalists). Equally you may be destined for heaven no matter what a cunt you've been ... something seriously wrong with this view.
  • You may be able to lead a quite depraved life, be destined for the bad place BUT repent on your death bed (REMEMBER you have to mean it) and God will forgive you. (Catholic)