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Glasgow

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I can see my house from here!

Largest city in Scotland. Known as the Dear Green Place (No idea why!)

Best known for its shipbuilding, its two football teams (Glasgow Rangers and Glasgow Celtic), sectarian violence, alcoholism, knife violence, poor health and well, you get the idea...

The eternal city - straddling the limpid waters of the river Clyde like a tuppeny whore taking a squat - was once a powerhouse of industry - the anvil of the British Empire, the dank, disease-ridden tenements echoing to the sound of hammering from the shipyards of Govan, from whence the mighty steel leviathans sailed, their boilers fired by coal from the very bowels of the land.

Ships - fuelled by the black heart on which Glasgow was built. Ships - tools of war and trade, handmade by the grime-streaked sons of the city. Simple folk, almost unintelligible to the outsider, but good men of hearty and solid (if somewhat interbred) stock. Anyhow, enough of that crap.

Glasgow was the recent target of the raghead brigade when two or three now proven Islamic nutters tried to burn down Glasgow Airport by igniting themselves and their Jeep Cherokee before ramming the airport building. One en-flamed seeker of seventy-two virgins was lamped with a fire extinguisher by a security guard. Said guard viciously and unwarrantedly assaulted the 'peace loving' follower of Islam when he realized the human torch impersonator he was putting out was in fact a bad guy and not an accident victim. They gave him a medal. Good Drills that man! Ultimately that crispy fecker died of his barbecuing but the surviving cunt got 32 years.

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When fag breaks go wrong

Nothing I could write, about what was once the Second City of the Empire, would capture the excitement et frisson of the modern city as well as this: Glasgow Survival.

Glasgow was the location for one of the, 'ARRSE Crawls' in 2006. Details here.

See also: Glesca

External Links

John Smeaton - Counter Terrorist Baggage Handler

Glasgow - a Musical Tribute