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Genital Warts

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The Force Environmental Health Advisor in Belize used to show a terrifying genital warts slide to new arrivals, in an effort to stop them making a beeline for Raoul's Rose Garden on their first evening. The picture was of a moderately attractive bird with a fanny like the cauliflower section at Sainsbury's.

This was effective up to a point but the FEHA's credibility was fatally undermined when he was bitten by a Fer de Lance (snakes and bitey things generally fell within his purview as well as STD's) during a drunken Christmas Eve party in the hospital at Airport Camp. How we laughed as his kidneys and liver packed up and more than thirty soldiers who shared his bloodtype were pulled from their Christmas lunch the next day so he could be transfused.