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Equal Opportunities

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Everyone's equal in the Utopian world of the Guardianista. That's why you'll see adverts for blind, Turkish-speaking monopeds with Tourette's for the position of senior air traffic controller at Heathrow (£32,000 p.a.). Even the Police are at it: Disabled applicants are encouraged. We are an Equal Opportunities employer.

I don't know about you, but I'd love to see a blind, one-legged copper blatting down the ring road at 90mph in his Vauxhall Astra: blues 'n' twos, dog in the passanger seat woofing directions. You couldn't make this up. It's all a bad dream... isn't it?


Erm... apparently not:

Of course - there is always the Forces way - f*ck everybody's life up, without care of rank, colour, creed or choice of perversion. Practised to perfection by our friends, the RAF Movements Branch.

Antonyms: Ethnic cleansing