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The British Empire

We used to have one - before fucking Labour started giving it back that is -starting with India in 1947. The British Empire used to consist of small, unarmed islands accessible only to the Royal Navy and lots of African nations armed with "sharpened Mangoes" until we gave them a good kicking at Umboto Gorge.

Oh aye and Australia, Canada and New Zealand too for a wee bit, until we realised that they can be trusted not to fuck things up too badly.