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Emperor Mong

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Of course you'll win in court Jim. Bwuhahaha!

Malevolent cosmic being directly responsible for the World's ills and for those (in retrospect) idiotic decisions we've all made from time to time, such as...

  • EM: Hush my child. You are a woman at heart. Cast off thy manliness and travel to the Orient. And there slice off thine spuds with a sharp thing and revel in your new-found womanhood.
  • IH: Erm... alright then!


  • EM: The philistines they mock you Mr Shortt.
  • JS: Do they? Right, I'm gonna sue these feckers!
  • EM: Aaaaah excellent! They shall quake in their dessies. Take them for every measly penny they're worth. Grind the miserable scum in to the dirt!
  • JS: Righty ho then. Here goes... shit or bust!

Other classics include:

  • EM: Go on, one more beer won't hurt.
  • EM: Of course, she thinks you are irresistible.
  • EM: The police aren't checking anyone for alcohol tonight, they are all in the station having one themselves!

His Eminence's pronouncements resulted in a marathon thread in the ARRSE NAAFI bar that's well worth a read if you have an afternoon to kill.

The Emperor Mong's Pronouncements

libraryimage.jpg Find out more in the Dictionary