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Egg Banjo

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God's Own Food
Egg Banjo

Egg Banjos are so ingrained into the life of the Army that they warrant an entire thread on ARRSE; Egg Banjo's, God's Own Food

A sandwich made from (usually) half stale white bread, spread on both insides with margarine and slotted in with at least one greasy fried egg, preferably soft yolk to distribute better, covered with sauce of own choice, brown or tomato(ketchup to the Spams).

It becomes a banjo when....

...the yolk and sauce dribble down your front. You move the hand containing the sandwich away and up to a point level with your ear as you look down your front and usually to an accompanying "Aw bollocks" you wipe/smear the said yolk & sauce into your shirt with your free hand giving a passing imitation of playing 'air banjo' !

A slight variation on the "classic" banjo is when using Warrior. When on operations or big exercises like BATUS the rations will be supplemented by "Fresh" rations which equates to sliced bread, fresh eggs and Clackie.

Now obviously the back of an armoured vehicle is a high risk environment for eggs and a dozen raw uncooked broken eggs in the back of a hot wagon is a friend to no-one. However the Blokes have a solution. Pop the eggs into the BV and hey presto - hard boiled eggs that can't break (well they can but don't leak).

Now if you peel the egg and pop it into the sliced white bread you have an "Almost Banjo" that you can eat. BATUS being what it is the commander and gunner can be in the turret for long periods of time and may need scoff to keep up their Morale. What can be better than a hot "almost egg banjo"? So the Commander calls down to the bloke sitting in the first seat on the right just under the turret cage - he is the Sprog as this is generally considered the worst seat in the wagon. Said Sprog then tries to peel an egg, in the dark, in a moving wagon without moving his elbows as there is no space before sticking it in a slice of bread and passing it up to the turret crew.

What comes up to the turret is a highly dangerous mix of salmonella and Sprog's fingernail dirt, livened up by razor sharp pieces of egg shell. Lovely. Fortunately your handy mug (with lid - Vehicle Commander Drinking) is filled with tea to wash it down.

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