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A means of moving a body of men in a smart, soldier-like and uniform manner from one place to another. Originated in the mists of time - probably by the Romans - but universally accepted as being a particularly British 'thing'.

At one time it was known as 'paces' and soldiers of Wellington's army were put through them with great gusto, as it was a means of commanding formations in the heat of battle with little explanation as to why. Needless to say, it was as popular then as it is now.

When done correctly looks the dog's bollocks but generally a Monday morning parade at a working unit looks like a gathering of drop outs and malingerers from the bin sheds across the country.

Drill Pigs practise their cliches and truly believe they are the most important people on Earth. Their egos grow and they believe there is an aura of godliness around them.

They learn to snarl and growl like grizzlies, then when giving an executive order force their scrotums through a mangle in order to give a high pitch squeal, like a hyena being gang fucked.

Despite many pretensions to being the nailsest of Drill Pigs - and contrary to popular belief, the Drill Sergeants of the USMC are not the most frightening. That accolade belongs to one RSM Brittain of the Coldstream Guards, whose gentle encouragement on the square at Horseguards could be heard as far away as Hackney Marshes on a good day.

To quote the anthem of a certain youth organisation I may once have been affiliated to:-

Drill is brill, Makes my knob throb, Makes my cock rock, Makes my dick tick, Makes my meat beat, Makes my schlong loooong.

(c) MGS CCF 2000

Drill Language is an entirely new dialect of English.