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Door Gunners

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Air Door Gunners are Army Air Corps soldiers who have received additional training to enable them to act as rear crew in Lynx helicopters. They are (allegedly) exceptionally good looking, witty, smart, courageous, daring, brave, debonair and lightweight (in the drinking department). They are the Lynx crews' life support machine and botty grabbers. Well hung love gods and singers of songs and ballads.

Army Air Corps pilots play an amusing game when in the air which involves trying to make their door gunners involuntarily fall out of the aircraft; how they laugh as the grunting Neanderthal on the GPMG plummets to his death through the fluffy white clouds. But Lynx pilots are usually fat and full of wind and struggle to do anything other than fly in a straight line therefore no gunner has ever met his maker in this manner

A point worth noting is that since its inception, members of this trade have notched up an impressive two kills on operations - just two more than the total number of birds they've managed to pull whilst retailing 'Nam- style stories in public houses in the Middle Wallop area. The fact that these two kills were actually a shoe-shine boy at a suburban bus-stop in Freetown and an Iraqi librarian in a sleeveless cardigan makes their record all the more outstanding.

Everybody wants to be one and at some stage has run around the back of the block/garden/playground shouting 'get some, get some, get some' and simulated spraying and hosing gooks with Machine gun fire.

The non-chemically-assisted version of explanation

Door Gunner (DG): Large, dopey groundcrewman whose personal hygiene habits would make a Warthog look like Dale Winton. Gained his 'ADG Brevet' due to the Sigs Section wishing to get rid of the section mong. Sits in the back of a Lynx and is required to be attached to the aircraft so he doesn't fall out.

Has limited communication skills (see Sigs Section mong) and tells all the gripper cripplers down the Darkside/Rosebowl/Jock Nag that he is a pilot. ADGs have a slightly less chance of becoming a pilot than Metal Mickey. The only 'kills' accredited to ADGs is 'that pasty looking RAF copper standing outside JK's on a Friday night'.

Average IQ 6.5 - but can still pull ten times more fanny than the pilot and can generally get their stable belt to fit without fastening two together - unlike their front seat counterparts PIRA sub hunter excluded.

Pilots are generally too busy in the mirror, stroking their own egos - or wondering how the fcuk they managed to bluff their way through the Pilots' Course - to make any advances on the ladies. They are usually forced to pay for it - many have been caught in Hannover in their flying suits, begging big black rubber-clad whores to spank them and call them Biggles.

Many of the big black rubber-clad whores turned out to be ADGs moonlighting their botties for a few DMs - further demonstrating their ingenuity, handsomeness and absolute magnetism in a sexual manner to all living things - even ginster guzzling helicopter drivers.

Not to be confused with rear gunners