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Danger Wank

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Performed by men with a death-wish. A practice which requires the man to be performing a spot of Hand to Gland Combat and shout for someone else to enter the room. The idea is to finish up and put your knob away before said person enters said room of debauchery.

Remember the purpose of the Danger Wank is the thrill of possibly being caught, not actually being caught; which will only end with an embarrising situation involving your jizz and your mum. In other words, The Thrill can Kill! .
  • An example of a Dangerwank (teens); Wanking in the bathroom with the door left open. Upon approaching 'spooge-central', shout 'Oi Mum! I can't find the shampoo'.

The real Danger Wank connoisseur may try to add an extra element of danger by using extra 'apparatus' - Grot mag, porn DVD, nipple clamps etc - thus leaving himself even less time for the 'clean-up' due to having to hide the evidence. Location can also play a large part of adding more danger, for example; On the train just as the ticket collector is approaching - Thus giving you the double problem of having to finish your fun and produce a ticket.

Always check that the Danger Wank 'Target' is not directly outside the door.


To bring a more military feel to the matter, a Danger Wank can be carried out in any of the following locations:

  • Any chemical toilet in Iraq or Afghanistan during mid-day wearing full Osprey, the danger being that you might pass out due to the extreme heat
  • Rooftop of the PJCC in Basrah with helmet and Osprey off to allow free movement, preferably in the snipers sangar, putting used tissues down the sides of the sandbag wall
  • Any office of any high ranking personnel. Brigade in Iraq ideal for this thanks to numerous locations. PJCC again ample location, especially the IO's office late at night
  • Any aircraft or vehicle which is carrying other people
  • Whilst providing top cover

Danger Perv

Similar to above but involving the sexual thrill of stirring at an individual without the embarassing risk of being cought.

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