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Make my arse bleed baby!

Next to the kebab, curry is the food of the Gods. Available in a bewildering array of recipes with exotic-sounding names, they're all basically the same dish - albeit with varying amounts of sulphuric acid added to 'taste' - not that you can actually taste anything. Curry can be broken down to the following basic categories:

  • Mild - for children and homosexuals.
  • Medium - for the ladies.
  • Hot - for manly men.
  • Very Hot - for the brave.
  • Thermonuclear - for the insane or the Gurkha.

The last two categories really sort the wheat from the chaff and the latter is akin to eating molten lava. The effect this has on one's insides and sphincter has never been medically researched, but the Beer Arse the following morning is 'interesting' to say the least.