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Council Tax

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Heavily armed council officials prepare to kick in the back doors of someone who is behind payment.

The (hated) Poll Tax in all but name. Basically legalised theft - or a very expensive refuse collection service, Council Tax is an open-ended extortion racket run by the various local councils throughout the UK. These are nothing more than self-serving cabals of corruption, and an indictment of the need for centralised government (which is marginally less corrupt). Local councils are the cnuts that piss your money away on:

  • Needless six-monthly rebranding exercises
  • Unwanted printed literature
  • Unpopular traffic calming measures
  • Pointless local diversity awareness initiatives

(Feel free to add)

Guaranteed, if you're planning a tombola at the church fete, these are the cnuts that will ensure everyone wears appropriate safety equipment. And you're paying their wages! That's Council Tax.

Thieving pikey filth making your life a misery? Don't bother calling the Ethnic Issues Department, or the Police - both payed for by... Council Tax. Simply wait for the Community Togetherness CD in the 'free' council newsletter that explains why you have a problem dealing with ethnic issues. I say 'free' but it isn't really. Guess who's paying for it?

The funniest bit is that it rockets skywards each year, totally disproportionate to the rate of inflation - or your pay rise. There are little old ladies barricaded in to their flats who refuse to turn their electricity and heating on in an effort to save enough money to be able to afford this daylight robbery. It's a disgrace that it is allowed to persist.

So best you pay up promptly, otherwise they'll send the bailiffs in to your nice, fat easy target of a semi, and confiscate your miserable middle class ass before putting you in the dock and throwing your pathetic tax-dodging carcass in chokey like the Daily Mail-reading criminal you are.

Ex-RAOC WO1 Richard Fitzmaurice (76) was recently - and controversially - slammed in the pokey for withholding payment of his Council Tax. He was trying to make a point. Unfortunately (for him) the council was going to make one too and had this criminal filth dragged away in cuffs to the nearest dungeon - which was full. So they dragged him to another one... and that was full too. Eventually - after transporting the hapless felon halfway across the country - they found a cell to deposit this useless parasite in and justice was duly done. Hurrah!

More here: Don't fuck with the State!

None of the above applies to Gypsies or thieving pikey filth... unsurprisingly.