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Communist

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A believer in Marxism, widely classed as the Red Menace before the collapse of the Soviet Union. Usually communists are rebellious teenagers who don't understand how things actually work, the gullible, someone who pretends to give a damn about the people but who really wants power and people who have never visited a communist country.

In communism...

  • no-one owns anything except the State
  • each gets according to his/her needs, and you don't need shït, Comrade
  • there is no unemployment (even if you are employed to watch Jeremy Kyle) thanks to the marvels of forced labour
  • everyone is equal, except those who aren't

... and it doesn't work.

What inevitably happens is the state cant organize a drunken orgy in a brothel over a pub. Because there's no demand function to show producers what's wanted, there's never enough of what people want but huge surpluses of stuff no-one wants. Classes don't exist any more but the servants of the state invariably get the best available. Since personal initiative has no mechanism to be rewarded, no one rises from mediocrity. The state (ie the 'people') is/are more important than the individual ... even a nation of individuals so what's good for the state is good for the people whether they like it or not. And finally the privileged state workers suffer from paranoia that the people will try to overthrow them so the people have to be watched ... giving you a clue as to why zaNU-Labour feels the need to spy on the British public quite so much.

See also Commies.

You a communist? Huh? How'd you like it, man? They tell you all the time what to do, what to think, what to feel. Do you wanna be like a sheep? Like all those other people? Baah! Baah!