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Three Three Alpha. Your jazzmags have arrived!

Large 1960s US-designed, twin-engined medium lift helicopter derived from the similar CH46 Sea Knight - with two sets of rotor blades. Known in US service as the CH47, the Chinook is surprisingly fast at nearly 200 mph.

Though the type is in service worldwide, the RAF is the largest operator outside of the US with over forty airframes, the type having been in service for nearly thirty years with the crabs and undergoing upgrade from HC1 to HC2 standard in the early '90s. Don't mention the HC3s, currently undergoing a downgrade to HC2 standard.

The payload is impressive and is generally one of the better helicopters available to the British Army. Sometimes, it's referred to as a 'wocka', because that's all you can hear when you're in it and for about half an hour after landing. Unfortunately, the distinctive rotor beat can be heard by every other fucker too - and for miles. Not really good for covert insertion-type-stuff.

Armed with two M34 Miniguns, for some bizarre reason, it is also armed with an M60 as opposed to our current GPMG. The best guess is that we bought the package 'off the shelf' and it included the guns. It also has the ability to float for about ten minutes. Unfortunately, also has the ability to have a mid-air collision with itself. For this reason is is known amongst the crabs as the 'Contra-rotating Death Banana' or simply 'Banana of Death'.

I spoke to an armourer at Odiham where the Chinooks live concerning the M60s, since the septics are ditching them in favour of L7A1s. He went a strange colour, told me not to mention them to him, and claimed they were only bought because the aircrew liked them on account of the fact that because they were different and unique in British service (probably for a good reason) and it made them feel 'special'.

More here.