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Casinos

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Not content with driving everyone to alcohol [not necessarily a bad thing], the New Labour regime tried to enslave everyone to gambling by opening strings of casinos up and down the land.

Under the misguided thinking that it would boost the economy in some shape or form, it will merely make people who are already penniless even more so.

In turn they will embroil themselves in criminality to fund their addiction. End product: Britain's only growth industry will be the mass production of alcopop-soaked chavs with a gambling addiction. Wonderful!

That said, what with call centres, IT, shipbuilding and manufacturing jobs of all types going overseas, it will give us some employment so we can pay our taxes for Labour spin merchants, quangoes, Two Jags' unearned gold-plated pension, chavs' brew money and all the money squandered on ill-conceived ID card/security databases.

Cnut responsible for this madness? Tessa Jowell.

Ergo it may be a good idea to learn how to play a couple of games of chance in case it becomes mandatory... like the ID cards, barcode tattoos and CCTV cameras in your bedroom. Me? I've learned Texas Hold 'Em Poker.