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Best Boots

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A nice shiny pair of boots worn with Dress Blues or GMS and medals, and guaranteed to put a smile on the face of any passing Warrant Officer.

Items need for successful bulling or bobbing night:

  • 1 x Selvyt cloth
  • 1 x Tin of Kiwi (Parade Gloss can be used but some say it's a little greasy)
  • 1 x lid of polish tin full of water or gob dependant of preference.
  • 1 x ball of cotton wool
  • 1 x hand portable arsonist kit (blow torch)
  • 1 x television and Zulu on video

Burn boots down and brush polish until bored to tears or until hightly polished. Apply a layer of Kiwi polish and rub until dry. Do same to other boot while one dries. Go to NAAFI and get a yellow handbag.

Shiny shiny boots of leather
shinyboots.jpg


The RCM was long overdue an embolism

By return polish will be dry and, with cloth, dip in water and polish. Rub very small circles into your boots. These circles form imagination windows where you can easily get lost on a beach with a tribe of fat women or halfway up a mountain with naked chaps from the borstal (if you're Lord Flasheart}. Continue this for fcuking ages or until your face is visible.

When they are immaculate, then take them to the khazi and run them under the cold water and make bulling motion with piece of cotton wool.

When marching smartly and uniformly as a body of men the lady spectators can be seen pulling faces... this in reaction to them filling thier knickers with custard looking at you in your best clobber.

See also Bulling Boots.

libraryimage.jpg Find out more in the Dictionary