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Bernoulli's Law

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Every so often, someone appears on the hallowed forums of ARRSE who talks the talk and ends up fucking up in one way or another - sometimes spectacularly in a one-er, but more often than not over a series of posts. Such threads are highly entertaining and most ARRSErs will take the opportunity to pop down the shops for a Watney's Party Twelve (or two) and a bergen-full of Pringles for what is usually a great night in. There have been several scalps, notably Graeme Taylor and Mike Tierney - the latter popping back up under several guises apres le indication , and continuing to do so.

Long-standing ARRSEr Bernoulli observes:

Every fcuker that has been pinged on here as a walt has gone through three, sometimes four, distinct phases:

  • Phase 1 (The Denial Phase) - This is usually marked by blithely chatty posts, full of gruesomely hollow bonhomie. There'll be references to not being on the nominal rolls of various courses for 'security reasons'.
  • Phase 2 (The Doppelganger Phase) - This is when new posters start to appear to back him up in their very first post.
  • Phase 3 (The Legal Phase) - Cornered like a rat in a barrell, we start getting threats of legal action, and being reported to the MOD for illegally accessing records.
  • Phase 4 (The Snivelling Repentance Phase) - Sometimes, we get to the Snivelling Repentance phase.

The latter phase is something of a rarity. To his credit Barry Simkins went for that option and recovered a teeny weeny bit of respect by doing so - but only a microscopic bit. Likewise, top action author and anti-piracy expert Mark Powell snivelled it, except it probably wasn't him and was most likely another ARRSEr trying to pull off a wah. More often than not it ends at Phase 3 and the charlatan skulks off to re-register and start the whole sorry process over again - which is probably classed as Phase 5.