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American Civil War

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1861-1865


One of the few wars the Spams turned up to on time, primarily because they started it and were on both sides.

The war was fought between the boring-but-right North, who wanted to stop the romantic-but-wrong South keeping slaves, making moonshine, wearing taffeta and driving orange Dodge Chargers.

The North won as they had more weapons factories than the South. This set the pattern for the Spams warfare for the next 100 years or so (see WW1 and WW2), although it hasn't really worked for them since Korea.

As wars go, it was pretty grim in places, with the thick end of a million casualties and 620,000 soldiers killed. Towards the end, several seiges (ie Petersburg) strongly hinted at things to come for Flanders 1915-18 - trench warfare, mines, artillery and all the horrors of WW1.

This wiki page will tell you more of the serious stuff about the American Civil War.

Notable for possibly one of the worst Generals in history being allowed to lead troops. Ambrose Burnside, the man after whom sideburns (as face fungus) were named, was out of his depth to say the least. read more about him here.

Also notable for the best military quote ever:

They couldnt hit an elephant at this dist... Last words of Union General John Sedgewick at the Battle of Spotsylvania 1864. Not really as big a mong as he seems as he only had experience of smoothbore Muskets (range 50 yards). The Springfield model 1861 rifle (range 600yrds) in the hands of a sharpshooter came as a bit of a shock.


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